


Burt Hummel's Son's Baby

by bluecinderella4



Category: Glee
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 16:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7809253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecinderella4/pseuds/bluecinderella4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Burt Hummel's Son's Wedding'. Four years after Kurt and Blaine's wedding, the announcement that Kurt and Blaine are having a baby starts a chain of events that alter the course of Burt's future plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_October, 2019_

Burt Hummel glanced at his watch after yet another minute had passed. _Why do women always take so long to get ready_? He got up from his seat and headed for the bottom of the stairs. "Carole, come on; they're gonna be here soon."

"We'll be right down," she called back to him.

"Take your time," he sarcastically responded before he took his seat again. Looking forward, he decided to verbalize his thoughts as if someone was listening. "So much has happened. I'm not talking about today—heck, it's not even nine o'clock in the mornin'—but just in general. I guess it started a little over four years ago when my son Kurt Hummel became Kurt Anderson-Hummel when he married Blaine Anderson. Well that wedding was such a success that not even two years after that, my stepson and his longtime girlfriend decided they wanted to celebrate _their_ wedding at this house just as Kurt and Blaine had done. By the way: since my new stepdaughter-in-law, Rachel, planned my son's wedding, Kurt returned the favor and planned hers. It was another nice wedding, everyone came back, and everyone was happy to see each other. Heck, I had made a joke to another couple she and the boys were friends with that maybe they'd want to get married here and have Kurt and Rachel plan their wedding, but they had done the smart thing and eloped. Sure it pissed off my son and stepdaughter-in-law, who each decided they wanted to plan another wedding together, but at least it was for the best. It's like everyone's been growing up and starting their lives. The couple that eloped are now married and live...I think they live in Connecticut, but I can never be too sure, Finn and Rachel are married and living in a house that was generously purchased by Rachel's fathers, and Kurt and Blaine are married and living in their 'fabulously chic for a Midwestern' apartment—that's what my son calls it.

"Well _called_ it. They won't be living there anymore since..." Burt trailed off, "...well, since everything's that happened. After the wedding—and then the other wedding—there was a sense of normalcy again. Only this time, it was me and my wife with a large house completely to ourselves. I realized how lucky I was to have my beautiful wife, our adult sons each living their own lives while including us in said lives, and that I could do whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it.

"And then something _else_ happened. Something that completely changed the course of my future plans, but in a good way. It started when Kurt called us asking if we had plans for New Year's Day because he had a _big_ surprise for us..."


	2. Announcement Crisis

_January 1st, 2019_

Being the nice guy that he was, Burt had volunteered to pick up a few last minute dinner supplies and wine for the get-together his son had set up. Kurt had made a last minute phone call saying he had a big surprise that he wanted to announce on New Year's and he and Blaine would like their families to meet at Burt's house. So when Carole said she needed a few things for dinner, Burt offered to get them like the good husband he was in hopes that he'd still have some time to spend with Carole before people started showing up.

"I'm home!" he called expecting his wife to respond.

"Burt!" it was actually (a somewhat drunk) Pam who greeted him—so much for that alone time with his wife. "Oh, this 'big surprise' has got me so nervous." She took a sip of her drink (a Margarita), "but I hope it's what I think it is."

"What do you think it is, Pam?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Cooper soon joined them.

"Well there are a few options to consider. The most obvious seems like they're adopting, but they could also be moving, or it could be a job thing." Burt was referring to the fact that Kurt was pitching design ideas and maybe someone had offered him a job or something—in all honesty, Burt had no idea how the 'designer business' worked.

"Either way," an enthusiastic Rachel (who was technically family) sauntered into the living room, "it's in-person news. So it has to be something major." She gave an excited squeal. "Oh I hope there's going to be a new little addition to the family."

Finn had managed to walk in at the last eleven words Rachel said. "Rachel, you're pregnant?"

"What, no? I was talking about Kurt."

"Kurt's pregnant?" Finn gave a confused look. "How is that possible?"

"Adoption, Finn."

"That's the big news? Kurt and Blaine are adopting?"

"We don't know what the big news is yet," Burt reminded. "We all have our own little ideas and speculations, but until we know for sure-"

"Guys," Carole hurried into the living room, "I just got a text from Kurt asking to set out two additional plates." She let out an excited noise. "Maybe this is a subtle way of saying they're having twins." This caused an excited group discussion among everyone but Burt.

"Okay people calm down!" leave it to Burt to try to bring in the quiet. "We don't even know if the news is about a baby or not. We can't keep jumping to conclusions. I think we should just-"

The sound of a car honk indicated Kurt and Blaine had arrived. "They're here!" everyone hurried to the door.

"No point," Burt made his way into the living room while everyone crowded by the door.

"Happy New Year's!" Kurt and Blaine made their entrance without knocking, but nobody minded. As they were giving everyone a hug, two more visitors entered the house.

"Quinn? Puck?" Rachel gave them a hug. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Free food," Puck answered as he searched for his best friend. "'Sup bro?" he and Finn gave each other a high five before they hugged.

"Kurt invited us to spend the holidays here," Quinn explained. "We told them we were spending Christmas in New York with Beth, but that we could make it for New Year's." She looked at Carole. "It's not too much of an inconvenience is it?"

"Not at all," Carole assured.

Once he was finished hugging everyone in the group, Kurt went over to his father. "Hi, Dad."

"Hey Kurt," Burt hugged his son. "Your friends aren't the big surprise are they?"

"No, we just wanted them to be here for our big announcement. Trust me when I say that our surprise is a much bigger deal than Puck and Quinn."

"Come in, sit, sit," Carole guided them (and everyone else) to the living room. She gestured for Kurt and Blaine to sit in the center seats facing everyone.

Once everyone was sitting down, all eyes were on Kurt and Blaine. "I guess you're all waiting to hear the big news, huh?" Blaine questioned.

"So much for our plans of making the announcement over dinner," Kurt commented. "Come on people, it'll still be important over a nice dinner. Can't you wait until we've eaten?"

"No!" all of the other voices, Blaine included, chorused. Though to be fair, Blaine's tone was more 'it's obvious these people can't wait' and Kurt noticed Blaine wasn't the only one who used that tone.

"Everyone," Blaine reached for Kurt's hand and squeezed it, "Kurt and I are so beyond thrilled to announce that this time next year, there is going to be an addition to our family." There were excited gasps in response.

"We're pregnant," this was Kurt's way of confirming.

While everyone cheered and extended congratulations, Finn looked extremely confused. "Wait, you are pregnant? That can happen now?" He looked at Rachel. "Rachel, I do want a family, but if you don't want to be pregnant, I don't think I can be either."

"No Finn, I'm not actually pregnant. It's still impossible for men to carry children."

Finn blew a sigh of relief. "Good."

"Cheers," Pam held her drink to Blaine and Kurt and finished the last of her margarita.

"Hold on," Burt was also somewhat confused, "you're _pregnant,_ not _adopting_? Does that mean you have like a surrogate or something?"

Kurt began to clarify. "We decided to use my sperm—mainly because of seniority and because I'm the cutest," Blaine chuckled in a sort of agreement, "—and we put it into a donor egg. We got the pregnancy confirmation call a few days ago. We can expect an appearance from Baby Anderson-Hummel on July 31st."

"But most babies are never born on their intended due date so don't be surprised if the little stranger decides to make an early appearance," Blaine inputted.

"I'm real happy for you guys and all that," this was Burt's congratulations before the question, "but who's the lady having the baby?"

With knowing smiles on their faces, Kurt and Blaine diverted their attention to Quinn. She couldn't help but smile as she casually shrugged. "I've done it once before, I know what to expect when you're expecting."

"So _you're_ having the baby?"

Quinn nodded. "I did say on that video we made for Mr. Schue that I was gonna donate the egg for Kurt and Blaine's future baby. So I thought I'd do them one better and carry it for them too."

"And your husband's okay with this?" Cooper questioned.

Puck gave a casual kind of shrug. "She's gonna need somethin' to do when I go back to base. I'm cool with it."

"The only thing he wasn't too cool with was me staying alone at our place in Connecticut," Quinn explained. "It was Puck's idea that I stay with Kurt and Blaine at their apartment until I have the baby."

"Someone's gotta take care of my baby mama."

"How many times do I have to tell you never to call me that, Noah."

"Besides," Kurt had a smirk on his face as he reached for Quinn's hand and joked, "she's my baby mama now."

Finn made a face. "Ew, Quinn, you had sex with Kurt?" This reaction made Puck and the Andersons snicker, Rachel and Carole were more aghast at that, and Burt was just indifferent toward it.

Kurt, however, covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. "Oh my God."

Quinn bit her lip to stifle a laugh. "No, I did not have sex with Kurt."

Finn still didn't understand. "Did you have sex with Puck? But if you had sex with Puck, then why is the baby Kurt's?"

"No one had sex with anyone, Finn," Burt tried to clear that up while Puck made it seem otherwise with a wink, a nod, and some suggestive finger gestures toward Quinn.

"It was most likely through artificial insemination," Rachel was about to explain. "See what happens is-"

"Now I see why we didn't have this conversation over dinner," Kurt interrupted. "Bottom line: Blaine and I are having a baby, it'll have my genetics, and Quinn is going to carry it for us like a surrogate. Now you may all applaud and congratulate us."

And that's just what everyone did. The last person Kurt hugged, was Burt. "I'm really happy for you, Kurt," Burt extended his most sincere congratulations.

"I'm happy too," Kurt gave his father a kiss on the cheek. "Just think: this time next year you're gonna be a grandpa."

Burt was going to be a grandpa. Grandpa Burt. The thought should have been all the more exciting, but then the age factor seemed to creep in for Burt.

...

"I think July 31st is a nice rounded due date," Carole was talking with Burt after all of the guests had left and they were alone. "I know she's more apt to have the baby in July, but there's the possibility of an August baby born close to Kurt and Blaine's anniversary. I mean the heat is probably going to be a little hard on Quinn, but I'm sure she won't mind."

"Uh-huh," Burt was staring at himself in his bedroom mirror.

"I know Kurt and Rachel are excited to plan Quinn's baby shower because it apparently makes up for Quinn and Puck eloping and not telling anyone."

"Yep."

"I'm kind of glad Kurt and Blaine waited as long as they did to start a family. They waited until they saved up the money, you know," she finally turned to face her husband and realized he wasn't paying attention.

"If you think that's best."

Carole knew her husband wasn't really listening. "Burt, can we go antiquing this weekend with my friend Sally?"

"Sure thing, Honey."

"Ah-ha! You're not really listening."

Burt looked away from the mirror and at his wife. "How do you know I wasn't-"

"I don't have a friend named Sally." Burt said nothing and looked back at his reflection. "Okay, what's wrong this time?"

"Nothing's wrong. Why do you think something's wrong?"

"Because you've been acting a little distant since the announcement and now you're staring at yourself in the mirror."

"I'm too young to be a grandfather."

"Too young? Burt, your fifty-three. Men who are younger than that have become grandparents. Remember that thirty-six year old guy on that trashy talk show that was a grandfather?"

"Yeah but he and I don't look like grandfathers. Grandfathers wear cardigans and hearing aids, and tell stories about how things were 'back in their day'. Fifty year olds in today's society aren't like the fifty year olds back in my time. We're young and active and...the new thirty. I am not the grandparent material. I'm young, I'm cool, I'm...a little out shape, but that's nothing that going to the gym can't fix."

"Oh God, this is the start of a midlife crisis."

"Yeah, see _mid_ life, not senior life! I'm not gonna subscribe to AARP anytime in the near future."

"Couldn't you have had yours in your forties like most men? Do we really have to do this now? Burt you're not a young guy anymore, you're going to be a grandfather, get over it," Carole left the room.

 _Poor woman's in denial_ , Burt thought. _We're not old enough to be grandparents_. He looked at himself in the mirror again. _I'm still young, I'm still cool, and I can prove it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know in the last episode of Glee, Rachel is the one who carries the baby for Kurt & Blaine. However, in the New Directions episode of season 5, Quinn is the one who said she donated the egg. Granted, she could have donated the egg and they could've implanted it in Rachel, I thought if Quinn said what she said, why wasn't she carrying the baby? So because that kinda bugged me—I mean Quinn said nothing else in that video tribute anyway—I decided to have her carry the Klaine baby. It works better because she does have experience, Finn's still alive so there'd be no conflicting feelings toward Rachel carrying his stepbrother's baby, Puck's in the Air Force and probably always gone, and Rachel's the Franck equivalent and Franck plans/coordinates everything. So trust me on this.


	3. Not-So New and Improved

Burt wasn't exactly an easy person to deal with during his midlife crisis, but Carole was a very loving and patient woman. The guy was a saint whenever it was her time of the month, so she was sure she could handle what he was going through. At least he wasn't cheating on her with a younger woman or blowing their money on a new sports car.

He was, however, trying to recapture a sense of youth. Burt was going to the gym now, he was trying to dress "younger", he was always researching which celebrities were older than he was and announcing them every day—and to be fair, some of them did surprise Carole—and now he was making a point to hang out with his son and his son's younger friends (much to everyone's embarrassment).

But all of that was nothing compared to what he did in early February. Burt had called Carole to tell her he was taking the rest of the day off to run a few errands and that he'd have a surprise for her when he came home.

"Please don't buy a new sports car, Burt," she pleaded.

She heard him scoff on the other end. " _Sports car? Carole, please. I'm not going to waste my money on something like that_. _I'm just gonna buy you an early Valentine's present. Besides, I'm like a block away from the house,_ " with that, he hung up.

She rolled her eyes at the thought. "This ought to be good." Carole went back to preparing dinner as Burt came home. She was too fixated on fixing dinner to notice him come in. Something she really should have done because when she turned to face him after he wrapped his arms around her, she was more than surprised to see the guy who embraced her had hair. "GEEZ, BURT!"

He ran his fingers through the hair on his head. "What do you think? Looks real, right?"

"Instead of blowing your money on a car, or an affair, you go out and by a jet black toupee?"

"Worth it."

"Did you even have black hair when you were younger?"

"Dark brown."

"What possessed you to do this?"

"You don't like it?"

"No, I like the old Burt fine."

"Yeah, see, _old_ Burt."

"Are you still hung up on trying to be young?"

"I want to look the way I feel and I don't feel old. Maybe you should give this feeling young thing a try," he waved the bag he was carrying at her.

She was very reluctant to take it. " _Victoria's Secret_?" Burt gave her a suggestive look. Still, Carole humored him and took out the lacy underwear. "Burt, no! I can't wear this; I'm going to be a grandmother."

"Would a grandma wear what you wore when you gave me that _extra special_ Christmas present?"

"For starters, that was before we learned we were going to be grandparents and it was a romantic gift a wife wanted to give her husband."

"And _that_ is a romantic gift a husband wants to give to his wife."

"Yeah, well your wife thinks it's more romantic if you try to stop being young and just be yourself. Your son wants that too."

"What?"

"He doesn't have the heart to tell you that you're embarrassing him with this new change. Finn feels the same way too. We just want this midlife crisis to be over so you'll realize how stupid you're acting and just go back to normal, you know. Be happy you're going to be a grandfather."

"But I still feel like I'm kinda young to be a grandfather."

"You're not."

"Yeah, yeah." He gestured to the _Victoria's Secret_ bag. "Can we still…"

"Only if you take off the toupee."

He let out a sort of childish whine before giving into his wife's request. "There, it's off, happy?"

"And go put on something that Old Burt likes to wear instead of…" she gestured to his outfit, "… _that_."

"This doesn't make me look cool?"

"No."

"Damn."

"And since when have either of us cared about you looking cool?" He made some sort of annoyed noise of agreement. "Go on, I'm gonna start dinner."

"What are we having?"

"I thought we'd try having breakfast for dinner."

"Have I told you I love you?"

"Thank you," she reached for the toaster, "now go change."

"Fine, fine," he went to do as she requested. As he was changing, the power briefly went out, but then came back on. "Hey Carole," he called to her as he headed back for the kitchen, "did the power just-"

"It's been happening a lot lately. I go to plug something into the outlet and the power briefly goes off."

"Is it just that outlet?"

"No, it happened when I plugged the blowdryer in the bathroom."

"We probably need to replace the outlets. I'll add that to the ever growing list of things we need to fix around the house."

"You know Burt, maybe it's time we considered moving."

"Moving? Carole, I've had this house as long as I can remember. It's our home."

"It's falling apart."

"It's nothing a few home improvements won't fix."

"I was just thinking back to that talk we had about moving after the boys left; how we should move someplace smaller or all on one floor. A place without a basement that floods or with a roof that doesn't leak into the attic. Where we don't have to worry about the heating, or the plumbing, or how much it will cost to fix everything."

Burt shrugged as he leaned against the counter. "Maybe you're right."

"I love this house too, Honey, honest. But it'll probably cost more to fix everything up than to just get a new place."

"Then we should sell the place."

She quirked a brow at him. "Just like that?"

"What do you mean 'just like that'?"

"I meant you and I are clearly having doubts about leaving this place and not that long ago you said you wanted to be buried in the backyard. Plus we still need a house that's big enough for the baby."

"What _we_? It's not our baby; it doesn't need its own room when it only comes to _visit_."

"I dunno, Burt, it is our home."

"But it is falling apart." Carole clicked her tongue in reluctance. "How about this: if one more thing goes wrong with this place, we'll put it up for sale. Until then, I'll try to fix as much as I can around here. Deal?"

"Alright, deal." She sighed. "I guess now I should probably use the toaster I just had to plug in."

"Or maybe we can just order in, rent a movie and _not_ watch it."

"Do you know how much eggnog I had to drink to even consider doing what I did that night? Is it too much to want a nice, quiet night at home with dinner and a movie?"

"You told me if I took off the toupee and changed into my usual clothes-"

"Well I'm not in the mood. Call and order dinner please, the usual for me."

"God, you sound so old. Are you trying to sound like somebody's grandmother?"

"Why yes, I am; thank you for noticing."

"You don't have to be so... _old_." She rolled her eyes at him. "Some grandmothers can still be sexy."

"Just order dinner, Burt."


	4. Sold on Names

The 'For Sale' sign went up the day after the kitchen faucet wouldn't turn off. Naturally, Kurt assumed this was just another part of Burt's midlife crisis and thought nothing of his father putting the house he grew up in up for sale. It wasn't like anyone was interested in buying anyway.

At least not until the first week of March.

Kurt had asked if Burt could host a Sunday dinner the week Cooper came back to Lima so that the families could decide on potential names for Baby Anderson-Hummel. While everyone was inside relaxing or preparing for dinner, Burt and Finn were outside playing basketball. That's when a familiar car pulled in front of Burt's house and who should step outside but Sue Sylvester.

"What's Sue doing here?" Finn inquired.

"I have no idea," Burt was just as confused as Finn was.

"Hello, Bertram," Sue greeted as she approached him. "It's come to my attention that you've put your house up for sale. Also, give my congratulations to the AnderHummels for their future child who thankfully has Porcelain's DNA. I suppose it helps that an equally attractive Quinn Fabray is the one carrying the child."

"What do you want, Sue?"

"When can you move out of this house?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I want to buy this house, preferably a week from Wednesday. And if it's not too much trouble, I'd also appreciate if you'd give me your fine China you've probably never used sitting on display in your dining room."

"Are you going to use it?"

"Does it matter?"

"You want me to sell you this house and be out of it in..." Burt did the math, "...ten days?"

"I'm willing to pay a generous bonus for any inconvenience this may cause."

"How generous?"

"Is twenty-thousand dollars generous enough?"

"Twenty-thousand—where do you even get this kind of money?"

"And shouldn't you have like a real estate agent or something for this kind of thing?" Finn pointed out.

"A smart observation from a rather simple man," Sue's subtle insult didn't really have any effect on Finn. "I don't know if this kind of deal is quote unquote 'legal' because the bonus will be paid in cash."

"Twenty-thousand dollars in _cash_?" Burt was still dumbfounded by this.

"Uh Burt," Finn began, "maybe you should talk this over with Mom first."

"I'm sure your mother will understand."

"Okay, but I don't want to be there when you tell her you're selling that China you got as a wedding present. Or that you have to move out in ten days."

Sue shuffled the wad of money that seemed to mysteriously in her hand the next time they looked at her. "I assume we have a deal?"

"How do I know that's twenty-thousand?" Burt questioned.

"Ugh, fine," Sue unwadded the cash and counted it aloud as she laid the bills in Burt's hand. "...nineteen, twenty-thousand."

"Okay," Burt stuffed the money in his pocket and shook Sue's hand, "now we have a deal."

"One week from Wednesday," she reminded as she went back to her car.

"One week from Wednesday," Burt repeated. "Over twenty-five years in this house, and she wants me out in ten days."

Finn held up his index finger to make a point. "Correction: she wants you and _Mom_ out in ten days."

"And we have to give her your mother's wedding China as part of the deal."

"Again," Finn headed for the house, "I don't want to be there when you tell Mom."

...

"I think this is the first time since the announcement that we've all been together again," Carole pointed out as she passed some salad to Rachel.

Pam held up her glass of wine. "I'll drink to that," and down the hatch it went.

"I still don't get why I had to fly all the way from L.A. just to discuss baby names with my brother and his husband," Cooper wasn't too keen with this idea. "Why do I need any say so in naming rights; it's _your_ baby."

"Yes, but you guys are our family," Blaine reminded. "We want to settle on a name that our families like just as much as we do. You don't even like the idea of us naming the baby after Tracy or Hepburn."

"What kind of first name is _Hepburn_ anyway? Trust me: don't give your kid a Hollywood name."

"Like _Cooper_?"

"Shut up, _Blaine_."

"Cooper's kinda got a point," it sounded like Finn was siding with Cooper. "There really isn't any point in being here if you guys decided you wanted to keep the sex of the baby a surprise."

"It's so not like you, Kurt," Rachel noted.

"Okay, yes, I'm always curious to know the sex of one's child before birth to have gifts chosen in advanced," Kurt did agree with that. "However, when Blaine and I first decided to start a family we agreed to keep the sex of the first baby a surprise because it's the most special."

"But you know I can't shop for gender neutral!"

"This isn't about you and your shopping conquests, Rachel. How about _you_ get pregnant and you find out the sex of _your_ baby."

"Does Quinn get any say in this?"

Everyone looked at Quinn, who was busy stuffing her face. Soon, she noticed she was being watched. "What?"

"Rachel thinks we should find out the sex of the baby," Blaine informed her.

"But you guys said you didn't want to."

"You found out with Beth," Kurt reminded. "Wasn't it pointless for the doctor to say 'it's a girl' when you already knew that it was in fact a girl?"

"My doctor already knew that I knew. So when Beth was born she said 'here she is' not what it was."

"Fair point. But I'm trying to say it takes out the excitement, and suspense, and anticipation, and the watching to see who won or lost a bet. I think for the first child at least, you should be surprised." No one said anything. "And it's our baby so we're not finding out." Rachel grumbled in annoyance. "Now we're open to any and all suggestions; boy names, girl names, unisex names, tell us what you got."

"And hopefully ones that sound good with our last names," Blaine added.

A barrage of voices began shouting out suggestions. "ONE AT A TIME PLEASE!" Kurt gestured for Burt to go first as Blaine took out a notepad and pen.

"Oh, me?" Burt made eye contact with the eyes that were staring back at him. "I don't really have any suggestions for boys names, but I think if it's a girl you should name her after your mother."

"Elizabeth, noted, next," Kurt gestured to the person on Burt's left, Cooper.

"Michael, Michelle, Morgan. I've always been partial to the letter 'M'."

Blaine wrote those names down. "Got 'em, next."

Pam finished her wine. "Usually the first born son is named after the husband's father; but your father's an asshole and Burt's not really a good name for a baby."

"Hey!" Burt seemed a little offended by that.

"So I think you should name your daughter after the husband's mother and go with Pam."

"My husband also has a mother," Blaine pointed out. "Her name was Elizabeth."

"I thought her name was Carole."

"Carole's my stepmother," Kurt informed her. "My real mother died when I was eight."

"Oh," she began to refill her glass, "my condolences. May I suggest the name Pamela Elizabeth?"

"You may." Kurt nodded toward Carole as Blaine wrote that down.

"Oh," Carole considered some names. "Well I think Finn already claimed dibs on the name Christopher."

"I did," Finn interjected.

"And I already used the name Finn."

"You did."

"You boys really like singing. You could name your baby after a song."

"Please don't start naming any or we'll be here all night," Kurt pleaded.

"I'll just pick a couple of my favorites. There's Layla, or Cooper already said Michelle, Penny for Penny Lane, or Eleanor for Eleanor Rigby, or Cecilia."

"Mom always was a Paul Simon fan," Finn commented.

"Those are two more good names right there: Simon and Paul. You could also consider John or George."

"She also likes the Beatles."

"Oh how about Caroline; like _Sweet Caroline_."

"Caroline's already got a claim," Blaine noted.

"By who?"

"Puck."

"Puck?"

" _Sweet Caroline_ was the first solo Puck sang in glee club," Quinn explained. "When we asked for his suggestions before he left, he said he had dibs on Caroline and Jack—which came as a surprise to me, but whatever, it's not like I'm having his baby."

"You're not, you're having Kurt's," Finn innocently reminded.

"In the future, Finn. I'm talking about me and Puck having a family of our own in the future."

"Oh, okay, that makes sense."

"If you want, you can put down Lucy or Noah so that someone can use those names. I don't really have any suggestions for Baby Anderson-Hummel, but Puck's got claim on Caroline and Jack."

"Jack?" Rachel was curious has to why Puck staked claim on that name.

"For Jack Daniels. Of course he's also open naming our future children Luke, Leia, or Harrison if you guys want to beat us to those."

" _Star Wars_ ," Finn, Cooper, and Blaine chorused.

"You can put Rocky on their too while you're at it."

Rachel understood now. "Oh. See, I got the _Star Wars_ and the _Rocky_ themes but the reason for him claiming the name Jack didn't make sense at first."

"Yeah, my first thought was a Kennedy thing too," Kurt understood what Rachel originally thought. "That reminds me, put down Robert, Jean, Courtney, Rory, David, Kara, Kathleen, Rose, Rosemary, Joseph, Patrick, Tatiana, Maria, Max, and Kennedy." Blaine did so. "I've always considered them America's historic royal family. There will never be another Camelot," he gave a longing sigh before turning to Blaine. "Do you have any suggestions, Babe?"

"Nope," he finished jotting down the names. "Hepburn and Tracy are still contenders for me. If we still want to go Vintage Hollywood, but keep it classy, I suggest the names James and Joan."

"Ooh." Kurt looked at the person next to him. "Rachel."

"Barbra, Liza, Judy, Elton, Peter, or Neil."

"Neil?"

"For Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Neil Sedaka; it's a musical kind of name. Feel free to put down Patti in honor of another Broadway Diva, Patti Lupone."

"Noted. Finn."

"Oh, my turn?" Finn tried to think. "Um, I can't really think of anything."

"That's okay, Finn."

"Seriously though, you don't have to choose what we want," Cooper felt the need to advise. "It's your baby and whatever name you choose we'll support it."

"Though I wouldn't mind naming the baby after someone in the family," Pam stated.

"Or after a song," Carole offered.

"Don't name the kid after somebody or something you love or you'll never settle on a name," Cooper disagreed with the older women. "And you don't want an embarrassing name that will scar a kid for life."

"Maybe you should give your kid a name that you can't shorten," Finn suggested. "Like don't name him Benjamin if you're gonna name him Ben, or Jacob if you're gonna call him Jake, or Barbara if-"

Rachel took offense to this and angrily stood. "Why did you say the first name _I_ suggested? Do you have something against the name Barbra?"

Finn slammed his hands on the table before he stood up. "You didn't even let me finish what I was going to say! Why can't you ever let me finish my sentences?"

Once Finn and Rachel started arguing, Cooper, Pam, and Carole got into a spat over how they should handle the names and they were soon standing. Trying to keep the peace, Blaine stood up and try to mediate hoping his voice would carry. Quinn and Burt, however, just sat there trying to eat.

"Psst," Kurt leaned toward his father and used his eyes to gesture to everyone arguing, "change the subject." He figured Burt could restore order.

So when Burt casually stated, "Hey, guess what: I sold the house today," that got everyone quiet.

Carole gave him a funny look. "I'm sorry: could you repeat that, Dear?"

"I forgot to tell you I sold the house today."

Pam raised her refilled glass. "Cheers!"

"You sold the house?' Carole still couldn't believe it. "Burt, we haven't even started looking for another place to live and you already sold the house?"

"Dad!" Kurt was clearly stung by this. "You were serious about that?"

"Well, yeah," Burt replied. "I told you the house was falling apart and there wasn't really any point in Carole and I living in a big house by ourselves. Why didn't you think I was serious?"

"I thought it was just another stupid part of your midlife crisis like when you bought the toupee."

Burt looked at Carole. "You told him about the toupee?"

"I can't believe you're going to go through with this. This place is so much more than just a house; it's a home. And now it belongs to some other random person who's probably not going to love it as much as I do," he dabbed a few tears with a napkin. "I had so many ideas for turning my old room into a nursery, but that's not going to happen."

"It's not like the kid's gonna live here."

"Don't worry Kurt," Carole tried to assure her stepson, "we'll find a new place that'll have space for the baby. I'm sure we can find a suitable place in…they give us ninety days to be out of the house?"

"I think that's how it works."

"Finn," Carole noticed her son was slouching and his shoulders had tensed, "do you know something about this?"

"Um…" Finn looked around the room, "…can I be excused?"

"Finn?" Finn nervously looked toward Burt. "Burt?"

Burt tried to keep his voice low and his words fast. "Weonlyhavetendaystomove."

Of course Carole understood him. "We only have ten days to move?!"

"Sue figured it'd be an inconvenience so she paid us twenty-thousand in cash to-"

"Sue? _Sue Sylvester_?"

Even Kurt was shocked by that. "What could _Sue Sylvester_ possibly want with our house?"

"And why does she want us out in _ten days_?"

Pam raised her hand as she finished drinking her wine. "If you want, I'm going on a singles cruise next week so if you need a place to stay, mi casa is su casa."

"Thank you Pam," Burt thanked, "that's very nice of you." She refilled her glass and raised it to him before taking another drink. "We'll stay at Pam's until we figure out what we're going to do. I mean, Sue did give us twenty-thousand dollars if this was a bit of an inconvenience."

Carole huffed at that. "Yeah, _a bit_ is an understatement," she looked at Pam. "Pass the wine." Pam did. "Sue Sylvester wants our house and she gives us twenty-thousand dollars to be out of it in ten days," she finished pouring her wine and prepared to drink it.

"We also have to give her your wedding China," Finn added.

That got Carole to spit out her drink. "BURT!"

Burt could only utter some nonsensical gibberish before he reached for the nearby food and asked, "Anyone want some rolls?"


	5. Moving the Precious Babies

Burt was really grateful for Pam of all people. Not only had she allowed them to stay at her mansion while she was on a two-month cruise, she hired what she considered the best moving company to help The Hummels move out of their Whitman Avenue home. Kurt, despite his personal feelings toward his longtime home being sold, also was a huge help in deciding what needed to stay and what had to go. He and his stepbrother were even there to help on moving day.

"Is it wrong to want to keep a doorknob as a memento?" Finn asked his stepfather after they emptied what was once Finn's room.

Burt was a bit confused by this query. "Why would you want to keep a doorknob?"

"I just want to have something to remember the old place. Is it weird to want to keep a doorknob? I mean, Sue might need it when she moves in."

"Sue can buy herself a new door if she needs to. Who am I to stop you from keeping that doorknob?"

"Thanks for understanding," Finn carried it to his car.

"Burt," Carole was taking as many pictures as she could, "are you sure you don't want a picture of you in the driveway?"

"I'm sure you took a bunch when I wasn't looking," this was his way of declining. He watched Carole shrug and take a bottle of aspirin from her purse. "You okay?"

"Aunt Flo's about to pay her monthly visit."

Burt understood. "Say no more."

Kurt came around from the backyard. "You guys," he appeared to be carrying tree bark, "these are from the tree we carved our initials in after you guys got married."

"Oh," Carole was trying not to get emotional, "thank you, Kurt."

"Did you get a picture of the tree?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Oh and Dad: there's one last thing we need to do before we go," he beckoned his father to follow him into the backyard.

"You're not gonna have me dig up your dead canary are you?" Burt questioned.

"Let Tweety continue to rest in peace where he is now," Kurt picked up the basketball he had set nearby. "We never really got to play a little one-on-one as father and son." He tossed the ball to Burt.

"Yeah, but you hate sports." Burt threw the ball.

"True," Kurt caught the ball, "but I think we should make one more memory here together." He bounced the ball. "How exactly do we start this game?"

"Here," Burt chuckled before helping his son start their game. He tried to go easy on Kurt, but Kurt was still terrible. Still, they were enjoying themselves and making a memory.

"Ahem," at least until Sue seemed to show up out of nowhere. "Porcelain, Porcelain's Dad," she greeted the Hummel men, "It's time that you turned in your keys."

"Yeah, alright," Burt dug through his pockets. "Here," he voice was devoid of positivity when he handed Sue the key, "it's all yours."

Sue held her hand in front of Kurt. "Porcelain." Without saying a word, Kurt handed her his key. "Thank you. Now that you no longer live here, you are trespassing; I will generously give you ten minutes to get everything together and get off my property. If you'll excuse me," she headed for the front yard to get the keys from Carole and Finn.

Kurt sighed. "It's really hers now, Dad."

"I know, Kurt," Burt didn't really know what to say either.

"I'm really gonna miss the old place."

"Me too, son. Me too."

…

"Hola mi familia!" Pam enthusiastically greeted a less enthusiastic Carole and Burt when they arrived at her place. Naturally, she had a drink in her hand. "Forgive me for the español. I did not do my research and it turns out the people who manage the cruise don't speak English, so I need to brush up on my Spanish," she laughed as she gulped down her Martini. "I was gonna have me some Margaritas before I boarded, but I figure they'll be mucho Margaritas on my single mingle." Another drink. "Anywho, help yourself to whatever you like. Oh, and I left the dog food in the cupboard under the island in the kitchen."

 _Oh crap_. As if on cue, the Doberman Pinschers Burt had forgotten about came to the foyer to say goodbye to their mistress. "You're not taking them with you?"

Pam looked at her sad, whining dogs. "I want to, but I can't my precious babies on the ship unless they're under twenty pounds."

 _Precious babies_? "Bummer."

"We promise we'll take care of them," Carole assured Pam. Then she looked at Burt. "Won't we Burt?"

The now menacing looking dogs were growling at Burt. "I think they remember me."

"Oh don't worry," Pam went to say goodbye to her "precious babies", "they're going to be on their best behavior for their Uncle Burt and Aunt Carole." She even talked baby talk to them. Oddly enough, it seemed like they responded to her. "Well, I'm off," she took what was left of her luggage and a bottle of tequila that sat nearby the luggage. "Adios!" she waved as she left.

"Who doesn't look to see if they book a cruise in English?" Burt questioned was Pam was gone.

"Aww," Carole was fixated on the whining Dobermans at the closed front door. "She's barely left and they already miss her. Poor babies," Carole went over to the sad dogs and they reveled in Carole's affection and allowed her to pet them. "It's okay to pet them, Burt, they're not going to hurt you."

Burt cautiously made his way to the dogs. "Hi, puppy, puppy, puppy." When he went to pet one, both the dogs got angry and barked at Burt to back off. "Not gonna hurt me?" Carole merely gave a nervous shrug. "Carole, could you tell them to go away or something?"

"Okay guys, _release_ ," Carole remembered the code word used to get the dogs to disperse. "My how quickly you forget that useful tactic."

"I haven't been here in four years; I'm bound to forget something."

"Like you throwing Pam's bankbook in the pool?"

"Oh, you had to bring that up?"

"Can we not do this Burt? I'm tired and the movers are on their way to-"

"You're _tired_?"

"Yes, I've been feeling a little more tired lately, is that such a crime?"

"You feeling okay?"

"It's probably nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Now go watch for the movers and I'll be down to help in a second."

…

Following an afternoon of loading things into Pam's (very large) house, Burt and Carole decided to call it a night around ten and went to the bedroom Pam allowed them to use. And who should be waiting on the bed? None other than Pam's precious babies. "You have got to be kidding."

"Oh, Burt," Carole felt sympathy for them, "they don't want to be alone."

Burt seemed a bit put off by that. "Does Pam let them sleep with her or...what does she even do with these dogs? Carole, they listen to you; could you get them off the bed?"

"Okay, guys, off the bed!" the dogs simply yawned. "It's time to go to bed!" For whatever reason, that was enough for the Dobermans to move enough for one person to occupy the bed. "I'm not in the mood for this; I have to lay down," it was determined Carole would be the bed's occupant.

"Well where am I supposed to sleep?"

"You try to get them off."

Burt attempted to coax the dogs to get off the bed. Instead they just got more comfortable. The dog that was closest to Carole even put his paw on her. This didn't please Burt given how close that paw was to Carole's chest. "Get your filthy paws of my wife you-" the other dog began barking and growling in defense. "It's their house I'll let them have the bed. I'm sure I can find a place to sleep in one of the other seven guest rooms."

"Oh Burt, I don't want to be left in this big room all alone."

Her husband let out a resigned sigh. "Fine, I'll make a bed on the floor," he went to the closet to get some blankets. "I trust there are no objections to that?" the dogs just ignored him. "Bending to the will of a bunch of dogs; how did I sink so low?" Carole handed him one of the pillows off the bed. "Thank you." Once he put the pillow down, he laid on his makeshift bed. "Night, Carole."

"Night, Hon." Following their goodnights, it was quiet for a good chunk of time. That us, until Carole started laughing. "How could I have been so naïve?"

Burt propped himself up to talk to his wife. "About what?"

"I know what's wrong with me."

"What's wrong?"

"It's so obvious; I don't know why I didn't realize it before."

"Realize what?"

"Menopause."

He made a disgusted face. "Geez Carole, can we not talk about things like that before bed?"

"No it makes sense. The headaches, the fatigue, me getting emotional over everything, that time I felt really hot, the fact that I should be having my period but-"

"I'm not hearing this right now!" Burt had his hands over his ears.

"I have all the symptoms, I'm at an acceptable age-"

"You're two years younger than me."

"There is a such thing as early menopause. And even though I'm younger than you, I still age. Just because we're getting older doesn't mean we're old."

"We're about to be grandparents."

"Am I to assume you're okay with that fact?"

"I was kinda thinking about it after that game with Kurt earlier; the father-son bond that we have. My son's gonna be a father and he gets to experience that bond and as the father of the father, I get to revel in that and share my wisdom."

"So you are excited about being a grandfather?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. Sure, we may have to find an alternative name to 'Grandpa' and 'Grandma' so we don't sound so old." This made Carole laugh. "Seriously Carole, you do not look like someone's grandmother."

"That's a very sweet sentiment, but I am going to be someone's grandmother in a few months. I guess we have to start coming to terms with our age."

"Why couldn't you be as understanding when I was thinking like that?"

"Because you were going through a midlife crisis."

"And now you're going through…" Burt didn't want to use the proper term, "…what I think is the female equivalent of that—I mean it is a major life stage for people our age. Going through that has got you thinking about your age and stuff like I did during my midlife crisis. Trust me, you'll get over it."

"I hope I don't take as long as you did to get over that."

"You're the saner one between the two of us, I'm sure it won't take long for you. Can we try to get some sleep now?"

Carole pulled the covers off of her. "Scoot over; I want to sleep with my husband." Burt moved a little and held up the blanket for her to get under. "Thank you," she wrapped herself into her arms.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I've been a real jerk."

"That's okay," she kissed his cheek, "I'm used to it."


	6. Things Get Uncomfortable

"And the doctor gave no indication why he wanted me to come with you?" Burt was trying not to freak out as he accompanied Carole to her doctor's.

She let out an exasperated groan. "How many times do I have to keep telling you _no_? Stop asking, I'm just as clueless as you are."

"Why else would they ask me to come with you?"

"It has to be something important; maybe they found something."

"Like a tumor? Is this some sort of punishment? I beat prostate cancer, so now _you_ get cancer."

"Burt, that was years ago."

"Well I can't think of any other reason why I was asked to come with you. Hopefully, it's benign or treatable."

"It might not be as bad as it seems."

"Not if it's benign or treatable."

"I meant that it might not be cancer."

"What else could it be?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe it's just a routine sort of visit to tell us what to expect with menopause."

Burt cringed. "Ugh, really? Carole, you know that kind of talk gives me an unsettling feeling in my stomach."

"Burt, really, you're a grown man."

"Yeah, well, most men in general are uncomfortable with talk of...what's the fancy term for a period?"

"Menstruation."

"Yeah, that. Geez, even saying 'period' in a biological context is humiliating for me."

"But this visit concerns _me,_ not you."

"Still doesn't explain why I have to tag along."

"Burt, please, I'm nervous enough as it is."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Thank you," she pointed to a door at the end of the hall. "This is it."

Burt took Carole by the hands and kissed her. "You're going to be fine." He opened the door for her to step in. First he made sure she didn't hear him mutter, "I hope." He sat in the chair next to her as the doctor stood at his desk to greet them.

"Let me start by saying that when you first describe your symptoms, there was a potential agreement that these were symptoms of menopause," the doctor began. "Though we couldn't rule out any reproductive cancers." Carole nodded. "The results of your blood test, however, came up with an entirely different conclusion that also shares most of your symptoms."

"So is it cancerous?"

"No." Burt and Carole blew out a sigh of relief. "But it's not menopause either."

"Wha-" Carole tried to form coherent words, "I don't understand, what else could it be?"

"Pregnancy."

It dawned on the couple what the doctor had just told them. "Doc," Burt leaned forward, "could you run that by us one more time?"

"Carole's pregnant."

"With a baby?"

Carole let out some sort of laugh. "Oh my God it all makes sense now. How far along am I?"

"We're estimating about thirteen weeks; you most likely conceived around the third week of December."

"Uh-uh, yep, that's about right."

Burt put two and two together. _Oh God that was when Carole gave me that 'extra special Christmas present'._ "Pregnant?" Burt's voice squeaked. "How could this have happened?"

"Honestly, Burt, you know the answer to that!"

"Carole... _no_! No, we're too old to be having a baby," Burt was, however, about to have a panic attack. "For God's sake we're going to be _grandparents_."

"If it's of any comfort, there have been women, even post-menopausal women, well into their mid fifties who conceived naturally," the doctor thought this would calm them.

"See, it's perfectly fine," Carole noted. "And I'm barely in my early fifties so-"

"SO WHAT?" Burt had rose from his seat and was pacing. "This kind of thing doesn't happen. I just got used to the fact that my own son was having a baby but now my _wife_?" A nervous laughed escaped him. "It's just...I just-" and that's when he fainted.

...

Carole was waiting in the hall when a nurse wheeled Burt out in a wheelchair about ten minutes later. He was holding an icepack to his head. "He'll be fine," the nurse assured Carole. "It's just a bump."

"Thank goodness," Carole helped Burt out of the chair. "Come on, let's go home." They started walking toward the elevators—despite stopping a couple times because of an unsteady Burt. "I think maybe we need to go for a drive and let this sink in."

"Uh-huh," he took another stumble.

"Yeah, I think I should do the driving."

"Carole, you can't expect this kind of news to sink in right away. God, how are we going to tell the boys?"

"We don't have to tell them right away. We should set some time to discuss how we're going to tell them and how long we should wait. If I'm thirteen weeks that's the end of the first trimester and I should start showing in a few more weeks."

"I think I'd rather go back to the period talks."

"Well I'm excited about this. I mean, I never thought this would ever happen again and lo and behold, it is. I'm sure you thought the same but...here we are. We're having a baby."

"Yeah." _Grandmother has baby!_ Burt thought about a _National Enquirer_ headline as Carole pushed the button to activate the elevator. He nervously tugged on his shirt collar wondering how things could possibly get any worse.

That's when the elevator opened and two familiar faces were waiting to step out. "Mom?"

"Finn, Rachel," Carole was doing the talking because Burt was obviously speechless, "what are you two doing here?"

"I've made an appointment with my doctor to see why your son can't get me pregnant," Rachel rather bitterly answered.

"Rachel!" Finn leaned to whisper to her, "I don't think my mom needs to know that."

"Well I don't see how it can be my fault. You're the one who can't even-"

Finn decided to switch topics. "So, Mom, I take it you had a visit with _your_ lady doctor?"

"You're not going to question why Burt is here too?"

"He probably drove her." Finn waved to Burt. "Hey Burt."

"Hi Finn," Burt greeted.

"What happened to your head?"

"Long story short, I banged it pretty hard."

"Oh."

"Okay, I'm sorry but I have to ask what you're doing on this floor? This is the _obstetrics_ floor." Rachel let out an excited gasp. "Carole, are you pregnant?"

Finn laughed that off. "Rachel, my mom's too old to be pregnant." As he notice the looks on his mother and stepfather's face, his laugh became a bit more nervous. "Mom? You can tell her that's crazy now."

"Actually Finn," Carole took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant."

Rachel let out an excited squeal and hugged her mother-in-law. "Congratulations!" Then she hugged Burt.

"Wait, you are having a baby?" Finn was a bit stunned by the news. "How's that possible, you're-"

Carole cut him off before he said the 'O' word, "Believe it or not Finn there are women older than me who have had babies."

"Wow, so I guess I'm gonna be a big brother." He smiled. "That's pretty cool." He hugged his Mom. Then he turned to Burt and gave him a playful nudge. "Didn't know you had it in ya." That statement turned Burt red with embarrassed shame.

"This totally changes our baby shower plans," Rachel took out her phone. "I have to call Kurt and-"

"Kurt doesn't know about this yet," Carole informed them. "But now that the cat's out of the bag, I think we should go tell Kurt that he's going to be a brother."

"Hang on," Finn had a look of confusion on his face, "if Kurt's also this baby's brother, what does that make his baby?"

"Kurt's baby would be this baby's niece or nephew."

"Um...okay. Aren't aunts and uncles supposed to be older though? Are you sure it's not the baby's cousin or-"

"We'll clear this confusion up later," Rachel noted. "Right now we have an appointment to find out why _I'm_ not the one carrying the next Hudson related offspring. Bye you guys. Come on Finn," Rachel started pulling her husband away.

"Bye Mom! Bye Burt!" Finn waved goodbye as he was being dragged off.

Burt blew out a breath before getting onto the elevator. "Well that suddenly got more awkward."

...

"Dad, Carole, what a surprise," Kurt truly was surprised to see his father and stepmother at his apartment door.

"Is this a bad time?" Carole inquired.

"Um, no, come in," Kurt allowed them inside. "We were just about to have lunch."

"We need to make sure Quinn is getting enough iron," Blaine was talking to them from the nearby kitchen. "I've seen this listed on at least three different refutable pregnancy sites. When a woman is twenty weeks pregnant, one must make sure she's getting enough iron."

"Are you hungry?"

"No thanks," Burt declined.

"Hey guys," Quinn had begun to show a little more since the last time Burt and Carole saw her. "How'd the doctor's appointment go?"

Kurt gasped in remembrance. "Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about that!"

"You think I'd be the one with the pregnancy brain instead of Kurt."

"Is everything alright?" Blaine asked them. "They didn't find anything did they."

"They found something," Burt was trying not to sound sarcastic.

Kurt was prompting them to continue. "Well don't keep us in suspense; what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Carole assured them.

"But Dad just said they found something."

"They did."

This time Blaine did the prompting. "So what did they find?"

"A baby." This stunned the younger ones into silence. "I'm about thirteen weeks pregnant so Kurt can expect a little brother or sister in September."

Like his stepbrother, Kurt didn't take his parents seriously either. "You're joking, right?"

"Kurt!" Blaine admonished as he went over to Carole and Burt to hug them. "This is good news!" He hugged his in-laws. "Congratulations you guys."

"Thank you, Blaine," Carole thanked.

"Um..." Quinn wasn't sure how to process this, "...this is a bit unusual. Don't get me wrong I am happy for you guys—and I guess I won't feel awkward being the only pregnant one among Kurt's family and friends—but it's…I..." she started to tear up.

"Hormones," Blaine went over and hugged Quinn. "Don't get all upset, Quinn."

"No, really, I'm okay with this."

"And Kurt should be too."

"You can't blame me for being a little upset," Kurt defended. "I've been used to the fact that I'd never have a little brother or sister and suddenly my _parents_ are having a baby around the same time I am."

"A twinge of jealousy. Kurt will get over it once he starts planning the shower with Rachel."

"Okay, yeah, that is a silver lining. And I guess a part of me always wanted a little brother or sister."

"Wait, if that baby's your brother or sister, then that makes it our baby's...cousin?"

"Uncle or Aunt," Carole corrected. "Your baby is this baby's niece or nephew and our grandson or granddaughter."

"Yeah, but we wouldn't be surprised if our kid calls us Grandma or Grandpa just like your kid," if that was Burt's idea of a joke, it wasn't all that funny.

"I sense a panic attack of bad jokes," Kurt whispered to his husband.

"But on the bright side we'll save some money if we want to go to the movies or something. Two children, two seniors. Let's hope our kids like spending their adolescence in a retirement home. And when our kid's a teenager, it won't have to worry about us coming in late because-"

"-we won't be able to hear, right?" a rather irritated Carole finished.

"Exactly."

"You know Burt, it's pretty clear how _you_ feel about this, but did it ever occur to you to think about how _I_ feel about this? I mean, _I'm_ the one who's actually having the baby. And while I'm very happy about this, I'm also terrified at the thought of being pregnant again. My age makes it a little more high-risk, but I'm more than willing to deal with everything because I was excited when I realized that we'd be having a baby together. I'm happy, I'm scared, and now I guess I'm alone in this." Carole went to hug Kurt, Blaine, and Quinn. "Bye guys."

"Bye Carole," they bade her goodbye.

"Don't follow me, Hummel," Carole slammed the door as she left.

When the others turned to Burt, Burt gave a nervous sort of chuckle. "Hormones, right?"

Kurt sighed. "Blaine, could you help make my father a bed on the couch; it looks like he'll be staying here a while."


	7. Mr. Hummel Buys a House

Burt had screwed up. Of course, he realized this a little later than he should have—hell, his own son even knew before he did and that's why Burt had spent the night on Kurt's couch. After a long day of trying to get a hold of Carole (to no avail), Burt tried to settle in for a good night's sleep on his son's (surprisingly comfortable) couch, but couldn't. When he realized how bad he had messed things up, Burt stayed up all night wondering how in the heck he was going to fix everything.

"Morning Dad," Kurt, the first one awake, had greeted. "You want me to get you some breakfast before I go to work?"

"What time is it?"

"Almost eight," Kurt took one of his personalized mugs from the cabinet. "You want some cappuccino?"

"Pass," Burt declined as he sat up.

"Carole call back?"

"Nope."

"Give her time, Dad. If you think about it, she's probably giving _you_ time to come up with a really good apology. So give her _space_ until you can come up with a damn good apology."

"I really screwed the pooch this time."

"Not necessarily the best analogy to use given the 'pooch' in this scenario was in fact _screwed_. Also, I'm still unclear on whether or not to be impressed or embarrassed by the fact that my father is still able to… _bed_ his wife—yeah, let's go with that term."

"Your stepbrother seemed kind of impressed."

"Then I'll be embarrassed." That got Burt to let out a small laugh. "But in all seriousness, I am happy for you and Carole."

"Thanks Kurt," father and son hugged.

"You know, Blaine and I kind of had our own little announcement but it sort of pales in comparison to what you and Carole told us. Still, I feel the need to tell you should this become an issue."

"Issue?"

"A naming issue. Blaine and I decided that if our baby's a girl, we want to name her Lily Elizabeth. Lily Elizabeth Anderson-Hummel."

"That's a real nice name."

"It also coincidentally spells out another name we considered, 'Leah'. So, it's a win-win I guess."

"What if I have a grandson? Then what?"

"You know, we're still not sure—we thought it would be so much harder deciding on a girl's name. Though Max and Zachary are pretty strong contenders. So if you could kindly avoid those names please and thank you."

"Sure, and thanks for the update." Burt got out of the couch. "I think I'm gonna talk a walk around the neighborhood or something; get some fresh air."

"You want me to come with you?"

"Nah, I could really use this time alone to think about how I'm gonna fix everything."

"I'll be here if you need me."

Burt nodded in acknowledgement and headed outside for his walk. In addition to thinking about how to fix everything with Carole, Burt couldn't help but wonder if he had what it takes to raise another kid. _Carole and I pretty much raised the boys on our own, what if we screwed up this kid by raising it together?_ Burt's attention was drawn to a father on their way to work say goodbye to his little kids. _Still_ , Burt watched as the family hugged, kissed, and said they loved each other, _I know my kid's gonna be loved regardless_.

_And isn't that what really matters the most?_

The next thing Burt knew, he was headed down Whitman Avenue, toward his home. Well, _Sue's_ home now. But you could imagine his surprise when he saw a demolition crew outside of said house.

Leading the crew with her infamous bullhorn, was Sue herself. "Let 'er rip!"

"STOP!" Burt ran as fast as he could to block the impending machine of destruction.

"Well, well, well, Mr. Porcelain," Sue greeted. "To what do I owe the pleasure of you trespassing on my property?"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sue pointed to the sketchy looking foreigner manning the machine, "Mr. Gorbachev there is gonna tear down this house."

"Did you buy my house just so you can tear it down?"

"Yes."

"Were you planning on telling me?"

"You didn't ask me why I wanted to buy your house." She had a point there. "Did you honestly think I bought this house to _live_ in it? Why on earth would I do that?"

"Why do you want to destroy this house?"

"I thought this spot was a prime Alpha location for me to build a new gym for my Cheerios to practice. It'd be less of an inconvenience if I build my gym here instead of on one of the main streets. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes I have a problem with that! This is _my_ house!"

"Not since you sold it to _me_. And as the legal owner of this house, I can choose to do whatever I want to it."

"You obviously don't want the house, so why don't you sell it back to me? I didn't spend that money yet and none of the checks are cashed."

"I may not want the house, but I do want the land."

"Can't you pick somewhere else? Please. I'm begging."

"I do love it when men beg."

"This isn't a piece of land to me Sue; it's my home."

"Why do you want this place back all of a sudden?"

"Because I need a home for my family."

"Porcelain and Finnocence each have their own places with their own families."

"Carole's going to have a baby and-"

"I am both impressed with and embarrassed for you."

Burt ignored that, "-and I want the baby I raise with Carole to grow up in the same house that I raised Kurt."

"You've made your argument, and I suppose I can be convinced for the right price."

"I'll give you back what you paid and you can keep the dishes."

"There was a secondary Beta location that offered me $50,000, but I turned them down. However, if you are willing to pay me double that to cover other expenses—such as a few miscellaneous home repairs as well as Mr. Gorbachev and his demolition crew—I am willing to give you back your house."

"Double? That's _$100,000_!"

"I know how to do math."

"Sue, I am one of the cheapest men alive. I'm not gonna give you that much money for a house you haven't even owned for a week."

Sue raised her megaphone. "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this house!"

"WAIT!" Burt took the checkbook out of his wallet. "$100,000," it physically pained him to write that.

Sue looked over the check. "Alright," she reached into her tracksuit pocket and tossed Burt his key, "you got your house back."

"Thank you. Now could you and your wrecking crew kindly get off my lawn?"

"I can still keep the dishes right?"

'Fine, you can keep the dishes."

"Good, because I already gifted them to Becky Jackson for her wedding."

…

Carole wasn't all too thrilled to see Burt at the doorstep when she answered. Folding her arms over her chest, she decided to give him the benefit of a doubt. "This better be good."

"Carole, I'm sorry," he apologized. "I am happy about the baby, really, but I guess I just…overreacted."

She scoffed at that. "That's an understatement."

"And to make it up to you," he dug into his pockets, "I bought the baby a present," he presented her a very familiar house-key.

"Is this-"

"I got our house back."

"You what?"

"We'll probably have to do some serious penny-pinching for a while, but I bought our house back from Sue. And I know I'm going to hate myself for this, but I told Rachel she and Mercedes could plan the baby shower with Kurt, which they want to turn into a _double_ baby shower. So _that's_ happening," he obviously wasn't thrilled about it. "And I tried, but I couldn't get Sue to give back the dishes."

Carole hugged her husband. "I don't care," when she pulled away, she kissed him. "This has got to be one of the sweetest things you've ever done and I love you so much for it."

"I love you too, Carole." He took her hand in his. "Now let's go home."


	8. Doubting What's Best

"I think Rachel has a serious case of baby fever," Kurt was talking to his father over the phone while they were both at their respective jobs one April afternoon. "She's going crazy planning this shower and all the while she's dropping not-so-subtle hints about trying to get pregnant."

" _Yeah, she might've mentioned that when we ran into her at the doctor's,"_ Burt remembered.

"Well she can hold off on getting pregnant for a while. It's like one baby at a time, please."

" _Right. So how're the shower plans going?"_

"Remember how Rachel wanted swans at my wedding?"

" _Yeah?"_ that came out as a 'what are you getting at' type question

"Now she wants _storks_. And because we're paying for this party ourselves, she's going to get them."

" _I'm sorry,_ what _?"_

"Just don't tell Carole or Quinn; it's going to be a surprise."

" _Yee-ah; where do you even find storks?"_

"Vienna, Austria."

…

Following the all girls' double baby shower later that May—complete with a surprise visit from a pair of storks flown in from Austria—Mercedes mentioned to Carole that if she and Burt needed any help with the baby's room she would be happy to help. However, she didn't get to finish what she intended to say because when Rachel heard mention of the baby's room, she demanded to see it.

"There's nothing to see," Carole told her. "Burt and I just cleaned out the room and-" Carole didn't get to finish because Rachel hurried upstairs to what would be her future sibling-in-law's room.

Rachel's eyes wandered throughout the empty room. "Oh, I can do so much with this room. MERCEDES," she screamed for her friend, "get me my décor binder!"

Carole met her as she exited the house. "Rachel, you don't have to-"

"Nonsense, my future sibling-in-law is going to have the most stylish nursery."

"But you just planned this shower, you don't need to rush into a new project. And don't you want to save all your designs and what not for _your_ baby's room?"

"I don't see myself having a baby anytime soon."

"Why not?"

This was something Rachel obviously didn't want to talk about. "Look, decorating this nursery is going to be a huge load off my mind."

"Is it? Doesn't something like that make you more stressed?"

"The good kind of stressed, yes. Kurt has complete creative control over his baby's nursery, so can I have it over yours? I mean, this is my family too after all."

"Alright Rachel, you can-"

"Great! MERCEDES," Carole had to cover her ears, "BINDER! NOW!"

"You didn't bring any binders," Mercedes reminded her with a touch of sass in her tone.

"Then go get them."

And that is also how Mercedes got involved as Rachel's co-decorator.

"Excuse me," a small voice made Carole and Rachel turn around. Said voice belonged to a young blonde girl in a high ponytail who wanted Carole's attention. "Can I feel your belly?"

"Um...sure," Carole allowed.

The little girl put her hands on Carole's stomach. "It's not really doing anything."

"It's probably sleeping."

With a sigh, she pulled her hand away. "This is boring."

"Beth!" the middle-aged brunette woman beside her admonished.

"Well at least Quinn's baby did something!"

"Sorry about that," Shelby apologized. "Beth doesn't really know how pregnancy works."

Carole looked at Beth. "Beth?" Beth nodded. "Wow, I haven't seen you in so long; you've gotten so big."

"I'll be nine next month," Beth stated with pride.

"You must be Beth's mom," Carole shook Shelby's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"Shelby Corcoran," Shelby introduced herself. "It's nice to meet you too; this is a lovely party."

"Aren't you kind of old to be having a baby?" Beth's question was honest, yet blunt.

"Beth!"

Carole laughed this off. "No, it's fine; she's not the first kid to ask me that this month. Did you two come down to see Quinn?"

"We sure did."

"Yeah!" Beth said the same time as Shelby. "We got an invitation a while ago and Mom explained that a baby shower isn't actually a shower for babies! It's a party for a lady who's _having_ a baby. She said that Quinn was having a baby and since Quinn had me, this baby is gonna be my brother or sister!" No one had the heart to tell Beth otherwise. "Now I get to be the big sister and I'm goin' to be awesome at it."

"Beth!"

"Rachel's awesome too, but I'm gonna be more awesome."

Carole looked at Rachel. "Did she just say you're her sister?"

"It's a long story," Rachel whispered.

…

In the second week of June, there was another big surprise. Kurt had sent in some designs to _Vogue_ magazine and one of _Vogue's_ top editors, Isabelle Wright, was interested in hiring him for the magazine.

"..and she's totally understanding about the baby so she said I can start work in October," Kurt was summing up what the situation was over a dinner with Burt and Carole. "I mean this is a huge deal for me."

"Well we're really happy for ya, Kurt," Burt congratulated.

"There's a catch."

"Oh?"

"If I want the job, I have to move to New York." Everything went silent as the Burt and Carole digested this news. "I wanted to know what you guys thought we should do."

"Don't get me wrong, I've always wanted to live in New York," Blaine explained this to his in-laws, "but New York isn't too ideal of a place to raise a baby."

"Here in Lima we have family, we still have some friends here, and it would be safer—and probably cheaper—to raise a baby here."

"New York does offer bigger apartments though; Kurt and I always dreamed of living in a loft."

"Yeah, but the rent is more expensive. Besides, I love our fabulously chic for a Midwestern apartment."

"I love it too, Baby, but this is your dream job."

"What about your work, Blaine?" Burt inquired.

"One would think it'd be easier to find acting jobs in New York, but it really isn't. I know I don't get paid to act in Ohio, but I still do community theatre. I've also got my vocal coaching job when I'm not working part-time at _Sheets 'N Things_. Sure, if we go to New York, Kurt gets his dream job and there's a very small chance I can achieve my dream of being in a Broadway show."

"This is a pretty big decision. Maybe you guys should sleep on it."

"Your dad's right; we're going to need some time to think about this and outweigh the pros and cons."

"You just want an excuse to make one of your lists," Kurt jested.

"You know me so well," Blaine and his husband partook in an Eskimo kiss.

When they finished, Burt spoke up. "Just know that whatever you guys decide, you have our full support."

"Thanks Dad," Kurt thanked his father with a hug. "I guess we should get going now."

"We'll see you later," everyone said their goodbyes. Once they were gone, Burt yawned. "I think maybe we should sleep on it too, _it_ being the bed."

"I'm not tired," Carole argued.

"Well I am. I'm tired, my back aches, my feet are killing me, and someone at work at my last frozen yogurt."

"So?"

"Do you know how bad I wanted that yogurt?"

"Which one of us is the pregnant one?"

...

Ironically enough, Carole was the one who fell asleep when they went to bed and Burt was the one who couldn't sleep. _That woman can sleep through anything_. When he thought he finally got comfortable, he swore he heard footsteps outside the house. This was confirmed to be true when there was a knocking on the front door. The clock on the nightstand was a little past eleven. _Who the hell?_ He put on his robe and went downstairs to answer the door. "Quinn?"

She was clearly on the verge of crying. "Can I talk to you?"

" _Me_?" she nodded. "Um, yeah, sure, come in."

"Did I wake Carole?"

"No; an earthquake wouldn't even wake Carole. Come on, let's sit you down."

He tried to usher her into a place to sit, but she just giggled. "Mr. Hummel, I'm fine."

"I keep telling you it's okay to call me Burt. And I'd feel better if you sat down."

"Can I have some water?"

"Sure," he led her into the kitchen and gestured for her to sit down. "Are you okay? Is something wrong with the baby? Did something happen to your husband?" Quinn began crying. "It is one of those things, right?" he set a water bottle in front of her.

"I'm a terrible person!"

"Um…" how was Burt going to respond to this? "...maybe you should start by telling me _how_ you're a terrible person."

"I keep having second thoughts about keeping the baby."

In all honesty, Burt didn't see that coming. "Oh."

"At first I thought it was nothing, I was hormonal, I battled that nagging thought before with Beth, but…" she paused to take a drink, "…I've fallen in love with the baby I'm carrying and I have to give it away just like I did the first time. I don't know if I can go through with it, but I can't do that to Kurt and Blaine. They love this baby just as much as I do and…" she trailed off. "…I didn't think it would hurt as much because this baby's going to people I know and love who I know are going to love it. I'm a truly awful person for wanting to keep this baby when it's not mine to keep."

"It's natural for all mothers to become attached to their babies even before they're born. But the last time you were in high school, you weren't ready to be a mother, and you weren't with that baby's father, were you?"

"Not at the time."

"It's the same guy, right?" Quinn nodded. "Oh yeah, that was around the time Carole thought _Finn_ was the father. What did Kurt call it? _Babygate_?"

"I was hoping you could give me some advice. Kurt told me how you saved his relationship with Blaine even though you didn't trust Blaine. Then you fixed everything after you ran out on Carole when she found out she was pregnant."

"I didn't-"

"So I was hoping you and I could talk. I mean, I know what you want me to do; but I was hoping you could stop me from having these second thoughts. Mr. Hummel, I want to just run away and take care and raise this baby as my own-"

"-but you can't."

"-but I can't. It's just bothering me that Kurt and Blaine are so overprotective and they micromanage everything so I pretty much have no say in anything. I wouldn't mind a little say-so in what I think is best for my baby."

"You're forgetting this is also Kurt's baby too; his genetics and everything. He's the biological father and if you decided to run away, he can take legal action or whatever to get his kid back."

"I don't want that. I don't want to hurt Kurt either, or Blaine, or even you guys. I don't know why I'm even thinking like this."

"Why got you thinking like this?"

"I guess it started when Shelby brought Beth to the baby shower. Beth was so excited to see me, to feel my belly, and to talk to the baby. She thinks it's going to be her little brother or sister."

"Ah," Burt understood how that was a factor.

"And she didn't call me 'Mom'; she kept calling me 'Quinn'. Once I have the baby, I'm not going to be its mother. I'll just go back to being-"

"Quinn." Quinn nodded. "You're still young, you know. You can have more kids after this one and you can have 'em with...what's his name?"

"Puck."

" _Puck_! Why do I keep thinking it's _Buck_? I've known the kid so long and I can't even get his name right."

"You could call him by his given name, Noah."

" _Noah_? For a guy like him? I think I prefer calling him _Buck_."

She laughed. "I get what you're trying to say. It may take some time, but I can still have the family I wanted with the man I love. I mean Carole's a good example of that. Who knows; I still may be able to have kids when I'm her age."

"I guess that's the spirit," this got Quinn to laugh again. "Listen Quinn: I don't think you're terrible for thinking about it."

"You don't?"

"People always have terrible thoughts but they become terrible when the person acts on those thoughts. Are you going to do what you're thinking about doing?" Quinn shook her head. "Then you're not a terrible person."

"Thank you, Mr. Hummel."

"Burt."

"Sorry; thank you, _Burt_."

They turned toward the back door when they heard a car in the driveway. The door to the car slammed shut and someone came running to the back door. That someone was Kurt. "Kurt?"

Kurt was frantic. "Dad, we lost Quinn! Blaine went to check on her, and she wasn't there. Both our cars were still there and so was her stuff. I need you to-"

"Kurt!" Burt managed to get him to stop panicking and stepped aside to reveal Quinn. "She's been found."

"Oh my god, Quinn!" Kurt hugged her. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"I'm fine, Kurt," she assured.

"What are you doing here? Did you walk all the way here?"

She nodded. "I was scared about something, so I came to talk to your dad."

"Whatever's bothering you, you can always tell me and Blaine."

"I thought about keeping the baby and I felt terrible about thinking that and I didn't want to tell you guys so-" she was a sobbing mess at this point.

For some reason, Kurt wasn't surprised by this. "It's okay," he rubbed her back in a consoling manner. "I'm not mad."

"You're not?"

"It's not uncommon for women to think like; but I know you could never do something like that to the people you love." She leaned into him more. "Ssh, calm down, it's okay," he stroked her hair.

Eventually Quinn pulled away. "You should take that job in New York."

"I should?"

"You'd be happy, Blaine would be happy, and it's not like Connecticut's that far away. Besides, Beth is still under the impression that she's going to be a big sister so she can see her brother."

"I think you just convinced yourself why _you_ should also move to New York. It's perfect timing: you're done with school, the lease on your apartment's almost up, and you'll be closer to your kids."

"This is something I'll have to talk about with my husband once he gets back. You and Blaine have talked about it enough. You should move to New York."

"Well Dad," Kurt turned to his father, "it looks like I'm moving to New York."

Burt hugged his son. "That's great son."

"Do you know what would be even greater?"

"I can't go with you to New York."

"Then can you let us stay with you until we move?"

"What?" even Quinn was surprised by this.

"We could save money on rent before we move, you'll have some time with your grandchild, I can get to know my little brother or sister, and I could spend my last days in Ohio in my childhood home. Blaine and I can sleep in my old room, Quinn can sleep in Finn's old room, and our baby can either sleep in the room with me and Blaine, or with its aunt or uncle—wow that felt weird to say. So Dad, what do you think about that?"

"I think...I think Quinn should get a say in this too."

Kurt looked at Quinn. "Quinn, what do you think?"

Quinn didn't take that long to think. "I think that's a great idea." They both turned to Burt. "Burt, can we stay here?"

"SAY YES!" they heard Carole yell from upstairs.

Burt relented. "It'd be unfair for me to deny _two_ pregnant women. You guys can stay." The others (Carole included) cheered at that.

It was the ringing of Kurt's phone that broke the celebration. "It's Blaine," he announced before answering. "Blaine…Hon-Honey calm down, we found her…yeah, I'm at my dad's…no, we'll meet you back at the apartment. Then tomorrow we'll start packing…yes that means we're going to New York, but…yes I'm glad too, but I'm talking about my Dad inviting us to stay with him until we do move…right, save on paying rent and what not…I know, I'm excited about it too…we'll see you at the apartment…I love you too," Kurt hung up. "Well Blaine's on board with us staying here."

"And with Rachel practically here all the time decorating the baby's room I wouldn't be surprised if she and Finn relocate to the basement."

"It'd be a real life _Full House_ , only with less clichés."

"I guess it would."

"Oh, Dad, I forgot you were looking forward to being an empty nester with Carole. We can stay in our apartment if you-"

"This house is better when it's full."

"So you're sure we can-"

Burt nodded. "Yes, Kurt, you can come home."


	9. False Alarms

The next thing anyone knew, it was July. And as Quinn's due date drew nearer, everyone who wasn't pregnant worried about making sure everything was ready for when the baby came. Burt's passing remark about Rachel and Finn moving into the basement soon held more truth as "decorator" Rachel essentially moved in to ensure the nursery was completed in time—this also included changes to accommodate not one, but _two_ babies seeing as Kurt and his family would be staying until October. And Finn just kind of went with the flow and stayed to help wife, his mother, and Quinn.

There was also a temperature issue. It wasn't so much the heat, but the air conditioner releasing freezing cold air to prevent the heat from coming in. Everyone was wearing pants and sweaters and jackets while Quinn and Carole bemoaned about how hot it was and asked the men if they were sure the air was working. Still, everyone tried to keep their cool (a pun courtesy of Blaine) around Quinn. This was very hard for an anxious Kurt to do, and he tried not to appear panicked whenever he was around a very pregnant Quinn. The calmer people tried to ease any tensions and relax with take out dinners, TV and movie nights, and they even played board games.

One particular game night while Burt, Kurt, Finn, and Quinn were playing _Scrabble_ , Quinn nearly sent Kurt into a frenzy when she disrupted the quiet with, "OUCH!"

"Oh my God it's time! IT'S TIME!" Kurt bolted from his seat and soon got everyone riled.

"GUYS!" Quinn had to yell over the commotion, "it's _not_ time."

"Then why did you-"

She pointed to the Scrabble board. " _O-U-C-H_."

Needless to say, they avoided any word games after that.

It was also Blaine's idea that because the baby could come at any time, everyone should lay their clothes out before they went to bed so that they could get dressed faster. Granted it didn't matter to Finn and Rachel because they could arrive in the waiting room whenever they wanted, but Burt was going to be the one to drive Quinn to the hospital. This was more Kurt's idea because Blaine had really bad night vision, and Kurt would have been freaking out too much to focus on driving. Still, everyone seemed pretty pleased that there was a plan in case Quinn went into labor while everyone slept. Not that anyone was sleeping though: Kurt's anxieties kept him and his husband up, an uncomfortable Carole kept her husband up while a nervous Burt would sometimes keep his wife up, and Rachel with her incessant decorating talk kept her husband—and sometimes Mercedes, whom she would often call on her phone—up.

The Friday before the due date, when things seem settled and everyone was finally sleeping, that's when Quinn went into Kurt and Blaine's room. "Guys," she gently shook the one closest to her (Blaine). "Hey," a bleary-eyed Blaine began to stir, "I think this is it."

Blaine let out a massive yawn. "What's it?"

"The baby."

"Okay, Quinn," the realization then hit him. "What? Now?" She nodded. "Kurt," Blaine gave his husband a less gentle shake. "Kurt."

A tired Kurt swatted at him in response. "I swear to God if that's Donald Trump dream again-"

"Kurt, it's time."

That got him up. "What? For real?" The others nodded. "Oh my God, it's time!" He leapt out of bed and began running up and down the hall yelling, "IT'S TIME!"

A groggy Burt looked at the clock on the nightstand. "11:36, now shut up!"

"No, Dad, it's _time_ ," he stretched out the last word.

"Oh!" Now Burt understood. "Carole!" of course once Carole fell asleep, it was hard to wake her up. "Carole, it's time!"

"Just forget about her and let's go!"

Burt hurried out of bed and went to put on his clothes, but he was struggling. "Hey, turn the light on, there's something wrong with my shirt!" Kurt did so. When he saw what his father was wearing, Kurt couldn't help but laugh. "What is this; what am I wearing?"

"Carole's blouse."

Blaine ran into the room carrying a large poster-board. "I got the map that'll help us find the quickest route to the hospital. First we need to check what time it is before..." he noticed what Burt was wearing, "...Burt, why are you wearing your wife's blouse?"

"Is now really the time to question my father's fashion choices? Quinn is about to have our baby, let's go!"

"I'll get the suitcase!"

"I'll get the car started!" Burt ran downstairs and out the door to the car. Blaine followed soon after carrying a suitcase, and then Kurt got in last. "We got everything?"

"Yes, go!" Kurt demanded.

"Are you sure?"

"Keys, suitcase, phones," Blaine understood Burt was referring to, "where's Quinn?"

Quinn opened the backseat and got in. "You guys made great time," she closed the door and adjusted herself in her seat. "Burt, I think we can go now."

Kurt let out an excited squeal. "Let's go have a baby!"

...

About a half hour or so later, Blaine helped (a still pregnant) Quinn into the backseat of the car. "I'm sorry guys," she apologized. "I thought it was the real thing."

"It's okay," Blaine assured her.

"My doctor says it'll be the real thing if my water breaks or if the contractions aren't as sporadic as the ones I was having. Stupid Braxton-Hicks."

A cranky Kurt didn't seem as forgiving. "You had a baby before; you should know what to expect!"

"For starters: that was _nine_ _years ago_ , Kurt. I still had a month to go, I had been stressed out, singing and dancing, and my water broke when my mother suddenly decided to show up backstage. Plus I wasn't having _your_ baby, I was having Puck's."

"Yeah and you had _Puck's_ baby in like less than an hour. And honestly that kind of thing you'd only expect to happen on lame sitcoms or TV dramas."

"The stress wasn't good for me, so it brought on a fast labor. I was lucky Beth was born healthy."

"Yeah, Kurt, we should just try to keep everything calm," Blaine gently advised. "Just be patient."

"Well I'm not a patient person," he huffed. "I figured my own kid wouldn't be either."

"I think we could all use a good night's sleep before we have to get up later," Burt suggested. "It'll do us all some good." He started driving. "Besides, the doctor said it looks like the baby's gonna come soon, so you just have to wait a little while, Kurt."

"I swear I'm going to hit the next person who says the word 'wait' or any variation of it."

The rest of the drive home was silent. Once Burt pulled into the driveway, Kurt angrily got out of the car, slammed the door shut, and stormed into the house through the back door. Finn, meanwhile, was in the kitchen searching for a midnight snack. "Hey Kurt," he greeted his stepbrother. "Quinn have the baby that fast?"

"Not yet."

"Did you come home because you forgot something?"

"It was a false alarm: she's not in labor."

"Oh. Oh, well I guess it's good it didn't happen tonight. Labor takes a really long time and I don't think I'd like sleeping on those uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room."

One could imagine Finn's surprise when Kurt punched him in the gut.

...

July 31st came and went with absolutely nothing of interest happening. "Looks like we're going to have an August baby," Rachel sing-songed as Blaine and Burt were finishing their morning coffee on the first of August. Instead of carrying wallpaper samples for the nursery, she was carrying three exercise mats and a round pillow cushion. "This is kind of a relief on my part because I'm lucky if that nursery will be done in the next week. Ugh, I hate doing things gender-neutral; I need to know ahead of time."

"Excuse us for wanting to be surprised," Blaine mumbled as he finished his cappuccino.

"Rachel," Burt started, "what's with the exercise mats and the pillow, and am I going to hate myself for asking why you have them?"

"The ladies and I have taken up some pre-natal exercises these past few mornings."

"Pre-natal? Are you pregnant?"

"No, I just lead the exercises."

"How come you only got one pillow? Don't you need a couple more for Quinn and Carole?"

"Nope! Have a good day at work," she gleefully went into the living room.

"Now I'm wonderin' why she only needs one pillow," Burt remarked as he and Blaine headed out the door.

"Good morning ladies!" Rachel cheerfully greeted the expectant mothers who were waiting in the living room. "Are we ready for our morning exercises?"

"Let's get this over with," Quinn grumbled. While she and Carole prepared to exercise, Rachel stuffed the pillow cushion under her shirt.

"Okay," Rachel started the stereo and led the workout.

For whatever reason, Kurt couldn't sleep in this morning. As he stumbled past the living room, he came across the sight of three round women exercising. When he saw Rachel cradle her pretend bump, he sighed in annoyance. "Finn needs to get her a puppy or something."

...

The following day, which also was a Friday, it happened again. Only this time it happened in the afternoon and everyone remembered to bring everything. Carole, Finn, Rachel, and Mercedes even drove in a separate car to the hospital where they expected to spend the rest of the night waiting. But they didn't.

"Indigestion," an embarrassed (still pregnant) Quinn confessed as she met everyone in the waiting room. "It can sometimes feel like contractions." She sighed. "I'm really sorry you guys."

"I guess there is a bit of a silver lining," Kurt began. "If the baby hasn't come by the fourteenth, then they're going to induce labor."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Mercedes inquired.

"No, but it's the best bet if the baby goes past the forty-one week mark. So unless Quinn goes into labor before then, they're going to induce her on the fourteenth."

"I don't understand why this baby doesn't want to come out," Quinn whined. "Beth was in such a hurry to get out."

"Second pregnancies are never the same as the first," Carole assured her. "The fact that this baby has a different father is also a factor."

Finn looked confused. "It does?"

"Quinn's having Kurt's baby this time, not Puck's."

"Right, I keep forgetting Quinn had sex with Kurt this time."

"WE DID NOT HAVE SEX!" all eyes in the room turned to Kurt. "I accidentally shouted that, didn't I?"

Burt nodded and did the finger pinch gesture. "Little bit."

"So if Quinn didn't have sex with Kurt," Finn was still trying to figure everything out, "how is it Kurt's baby?"

"Finn," Kurt put his hands on Finn's shoulders, "I think it's time you and my Dad have the talk about where babies come from."


	10. Spicing Things Up

Sleep was a foreign concept to Burt by this point. He was working, he was taking care of everybody, he was more anxious, and his room was next to the nursery that Rachel was rather loudly putting together.

_Seriously, is that room ever gonna get done?_

"Morning Burt," Blaine handed him a pre-poured mug of coffee on another August Friday morning. "Yikes; I hope you don't mind me saying, but you look like the walking dead."

"I haven't really been sleeping," Burt admitted.

"Coffee not helping?"

"Helps me get through work. Then I come home," he took a sip. "You ever notice how your brain gets really active when you're trying to sleep? What's up with that?"

"I can't answer that." Soon, Finn entered from the basement and joined them in the kitchen. "Morning Finn," Blaine handed him a pre-poured bowl of _Lucky Charms_.

"Thanks," Finn thanked.

"Oh Burt, I won't be coming home to cook today."

"Working overtime?" Burt inquired.

"Actually," Blaine made sure the coast was clear. "Puck's coming home tonight. He wants to surprise Quinn and asked me and Kurt if we can pick him up. Naturally, Kurt said no because he's worried that Quinn will go into labor when he's not around and he'll miss everything."

Burt gave a wistful sigh that also seemed to say 'been there, done that'. "Ah, the first time father," he took another sip of coffee.

"So after work, I'm going to pick up Puck and bring him home."

Finn swallowed his cereal before talking. "Hey, can go I with you? I don't have a reason, I just wanna see my bro."

"Sure, I'll swing by to pick you up. Oh and if Quinn asks why I'm not here, Kurt and I have some pre-planned excuses; so Finn, just let Kurt know you'll be coming with me so we can narrow down the best excuses."

"Um...okay."

Rachel's perky whistling was heard as she made her way upstairs carrying the exercise mats and round pillow cushion. "Good morning," she continued whistling as she made her way into the living room.

"Do you guys know why she only has one pillow?"

Burt set his empty mug down and responded with, "That, Finn, is one of life's mysteries."

...

Burt came home around the usual time that afternoon and decided that he needed to sleep. Hoping to just trudge upstairs and collapse onto his bed, his hopes were dashed when he saw a smiley Rachel and a sick looking Mercedes at the top of the stairs. It seemed like Rachel was waiting for him. "Burt, there you are, right on schedule."

"Yeah, yeah," Mercedes blew her nose as she made her way down the stairs. "I'm sorry Mr. H, but I gotta get outta this house before I get pneumonia," with that, Mercedes left muttering, "I need my heat."

"Come on, come see!" Rachel ran to the end of the hall while Burt slowly made his way upstairs. She was standing in front of a closed door with a large bow on it. Where she got the large bow, Burt didn't really want to know. "I'd have a drum roll here, but my husband went with Blaine to pick Cooper up from the airport while Pam's auditioning for some _VH1_ reality show."

"Uh-huh," that was really the excuse they were going for? Still, Burt shrugged this off. "I take it the baby's room is done?"

"Yes, and you'll find that I've out _done_ myself," she laughed at her play on words. "Presenting, the Hudson-Hummel-Anderson nursery!" she had her hand on the knob "The name's a work in progress. And..." she took a dramatic pause before throwing the door open, "...ta-da!"

Burt had to admit, Rachel had outdone herself. "Wow. Rachel this is...this is incredible."

"So you like it?"

"I love it."

Rachel let out a very excited squeal and hugged her father-in-law. When he made some sort of pained noise, she pulled away. "Burt, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired, and sore, and tired."

"You already said tired." He nodded as if he made his point clear. "Planning the baby shower, decorating the nursery, trying for a baby; all that's been pretty tiring for me too." _Of course she has to make this about her,_ Burt thought. "So at first I wasn't sleeping all that great, but then I had a little help," she took an unlabeled aspirin bottle from her pants pocket.

"What is it?"

" _Vatsnik_ : the best sleeping pill in the world. This stuff really works."

"I don't take sleeping pills."

"Burt, you need your rest. What if, God forbid, something happens and you suddenly fall asleep at a really inopportune, potentially dangerous time. Plus these are very mild. You take one, you get some sleep, you feel better."

"How come I've never heard of this _Vatsnik_ or whatever?"

"Apparently, they don't sell these in American markets. I got this from Mr. Ryerson."

"So they're not legal?"

"Not yet."

"That's reassuring."

"Tell me you don't honestly wonder why I'm so cheerful and energized in the morning." Burt said nothing in response. He knew what she was getting at. "Trust me," she gave him two of the sleeping pills, "they _really_ work."

"Hey guys," Kurt was standing in the doorway looking at Rachel. "Does he like it?"

"He loves it!"

He applauded at that. "Fabulous! Anyway, Carole wanted me to let you know that dinner's ready."

Burt cocked an eyebrow. "She cooked?"

"She felt like she wasn't really helping out and decided to cook a nice dinner for her family. It's not like I could say 'no', your wife is very persistent. So come on, I'm getting a foodgasm just from the smell of that lasagna."

"She made me a veggie lasagna, right?" Rachel called after Kurt.

Burt clutched the pills in his hand debating what to do with them. But when he heard his name called for dinner, he headed downstairs where Rachel and Kurt had already congregated at the table. Before he took his seat in the dining room, he took a bottle of water from the fridge and carried it with him to the table. "Sure smells good," he commented on the food as he took his seat.

No one noticed Burt set the two sleeping pills in front of his plate when Quinn entered the dining room. "Let's hope it tastes as good as it smells," she was carrying a basket of rolls for the table.

"Quinn, should you be carrying that?" Kurt questioned with worry.

"I think I can handle a small basket of soft food," she set the plate on the table and sat down next to Kurt. "Relax, nothing is going to happen tonight." Kurt groaned at that.

"So Quinn," Rachel helped herself to a roll, "how are you feeling?"

"Fat and miserable."

Kurt poured himself a glass of wine. "I think we're all lamenting the fact that Baby AnderHummel is nine days late. And I know babies aren't expected to arrive on their set due date—they can come early or later—but as a Hummel, my child should take punctuality and scheduling to heart," he sipped his drink. "It must get it's poor timing from Quinn's side of the family." Quinn rolled her eyes at that. "So we're probably going to end up inducing."

"Aren't there things Quinn can do to bring about labor?" Rachel inquired. "Our morning exercises don't seem to be doing much good, but aren't there other things?"

Quinn was blunt when she casually asked, "Like sex?"

Rachel nervously cleared her throat. "Yes, that one usually is one of the more… _prominent_ causes," she felt that was the best word to use in the situation.

Kurt held his hands up. "Don't look at me."

Carole came into the kitchen with a tray of the main course. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Another trigger for labor is spicy food; it worked before I had Finn," she set the tray down. "Speaking of Finn: are he and Blaine coming back tonight?"

Quinn turned to Kurt. "Yeah, how long do these charity fundraisers usually last?"

"Charity fundraiser?" Rachel had a hint of suspicion in her tone. It was at that moment Kurt realized he had told the girls different stories. "I thought he and Blaine were picking Cooper up from the airport while Pam's auditioning for some _VH1_ realty show."

"They're doing that too," Kurt quickly lied. "Cooper's also in town for a charity fundraiser. You know the one I'm talking about?" Rachel shook her head. "It's the one associated with the…LGBT community."

" _The Trevor Project_?" Quinn asked as she took a helping of lasagna.

"YES!" Kurt said that rather loudly. "I forgot its name, but it's the one for the _Trevor Project_."

"So why did my husband go with them?" of course Rachel had her doubts.

"For the free buffet at the fundraiser," that was just one of the pre-prepared lies, "and because Cooper called and said his plane would be in late and you know Blaine can't drive at night. He brought Finn as a precaution. Plus we do need Dad to stay here with us in case we need to drive to the hospital because he's the only one who can drive."

"You can drive."

"Not when I'm in the middle of a freak out. And seriously you're twenty-five; learn to drive, Miss Daisy." Rachel stuck her tongue out at him. "New topic: Carole, Quinn, did you see the baby's room?"

Carole and Quinn exchanged glances with each other and both shook their heads. "Not yet," Carole answered for them as Quinn ate some more lasagna from her plate.

"Can you go sneak a peek so we can have a dinner conversation? I want everyone who's here to see how fabulous it looks."

"Um, yeah, alright," Quinn was helped out of her seat by Kurt and Carole. "I guess Carole and I will be right back," the expectant mothers headed upstairs.

"I'll come with!" Rachel hurried out of her seat and followed the women.

"So Dad," Kurt directed his attention to the only other person at the table, "you really love the nursery?"

"Huh?" a tired Burt looked at his son. "Oh yeah, it's great."

"Are you sure you even saw it? You can barely keep your eyes open."

"Yes, Kurt, I saw it," he took the pills Rachel had given him and put them both in his mouth and drank from his water bottle.

"Um, what did you just put in your mouth?"

"Well I haven't been sleeping so I thought I'd take a couple of mild sleeping pills."

"I didn't know you took sleeping pills."

"I wanna make sure I get the proper rest so I'm fully awake when one of the girls goes into labor or somethin'. Don't wanna fall asleep at the wheel or pass out or…whatever."

"Makes sense."

"Please pass the rolls."

As Kurt slid the rolls to his father, he noticed Burt's eyelids get heavy. "Dad?" Without warning, Burt just fell onto the table. "Dad!" A stunned Kurt remained in his seat unsure of what to do.

"Kurt," Carole (and the other girls) were back in the kitchen, "what is your father doing?"

"He said 'pass the rolls' and then he passed out."

"Burt!" Carole rushed over to him.

"He's still breathing, so those pills didn't kill him or anything."

"Pills?"

Rachel understood. "Did he take both those pills at once?"

"Rachel, did you give him pills?"

"I gave him two sleeping pills but he wasn't supposed to take them both at once!"

"He said they were mild!" Kurt remembered.

"They are if you take them one at a time."

"Gee, that would have been a good idea if you told him that before he shoved both of them into his mouth at once!" Kurt hurried out of his seat. "Rachel, help me get him in the living room." Together, he and Rachel struggled to carry Burt from the dining room and into the living room. Carole tailed after them acting as a sort of spotter as Kurt and Rachel managed to get a pretty much comatose Burt onto the couch. "What the hell did you give him?"

" _Vatsnik_."

" _Vatsnik_? What the hell is that?"

"Is it prescription?" Carole asked.

They didn't notice Quinn standing between the living room and dining room clutching her stomach. "Guys."

"I got them from Mr. Ryerson," Rachel confessed. "These pills aren't exactly _legal_."

Kurt slapped his hand to his forehead. "Oh my God."

"Rachel!" Carole was trying not to get angry.

"Guys!" Quinn, meanwhile, was still trying to get their attention.

"Burt said he wasn't sleeping and I was trying to be helpful!" Rachel defended. "I've been taking these to help me sleep and they do wonders for me so I figured they'd help him."

"Maybe if you had told him to take one at a time or that these things had an instant effect!" Kurt chided her. "Does he even have a pulse?" He checked his father for a pulse.

"GUYS!" this time Quinn managed to get their attention.

"Not now, Quinn; we have a situation here."

"I kind of have another situation we need to deal with, like _now_."

"In a minute," Rachel brushed her off.

Carole, however, was a little more patient. "Quinn, Honey, can this wait?" Before Quinn could answer, she let out a scream of pain and doubled over. Naturally, this took everyone's attention away from Burt. "Quinn!"

"I don't think this baby can wait," Quinn spoke through gritted teeth.

"Now? Are you sure?"

Quinn nodded. "My water broke."

"Holy crap, I think that spicy lasagna really did the trick," Rachel felt the need to comment.

Quinn let out another cry of pain. "Uh-oh," Carole tried to help Quinn stand upright, "I think this baby's in a rush to be born."

"Quinn, can't you hold it in!" Kurt pleaded.

"I don't think it works that way," Rachel answered back. "You know, once Quinn's water breaks them contractions really start comin'."

"Kurt," Carole hurried over to her stepson, "Kurt, I need you and Rachel to carry Burt to the car and then you're going to have to drive us to the hospital."

"Um, excuse you?" it was apparent Kurt wasn't on board with that plan. He began panicking in some sort of gibberish.

"KURT!" Carole took his face in her hands, "You can do this. As that baby's father, you need to step up and make sure that baby gets here safe, and preferably at the hospital. Now you and Miss Pill Pusher over there," of course Rachel gasped in offense to that name, "are going to help get your father into the car and then _you_ are going to drive us to the hospital."

"I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"No, you do not."

Kurt titled toward Quinn. "You know, you could try picking less inopportune times to go into labor." Quinn shot him a death glare. "Just sayin'!"

"You two get Burt, I'll help Quinn to the car," Carole made sure to grab Quinn's overnight bag before leading her outside.

"DAD!" Kurt frantically tried to get his father up. "Dad, wake up; you're gonna be a grandfather!"

"I know this isn't the time," Rachel began, "but if you need someone to redecorate this room-"

"You're right, it's not the time! Get over here and help; this is mostly your fault!"

"Why is it when I try to do nice things I get grief for it?"

"RACHEL!"

"Well, I do."

"You can redeem yourself if you help me carry my comatose father to the car!"

"Fine," she carried Burt by his legs. "And I'm serious about redecorating the living room because that sofa would look much better-"

"RACHEL!"

"Right, sorry, shutting up," she miraculously did not talk as she and Kurt struggled to carry Burt to the car. Eventually, they managed to get him in the front seat. Once that feat was accomplished, Rachel quickly squeezed into the backseat while a nervous Kurt hurried to the driver's side.

"Are we ready?" he asked as he wildly reached for his seatbelt.

Everyone who was conscious responded with a demanding, "GO!"

"Gone, Babes," Kurt floored the gas pedal inadvertently sending the car forward. "Oops," he switched the gear shift to _reverse_ and backed out of the driveway. After switching back to _drive_ , he turned right.

"WRONG WAY!"

Kurt slammed his foot on the brakes and did a U-Turn grateful that no one (especially the police) was around. "My bad." He sped off in the proper direction. "Out of the way people," he honked at the car in front of him, "we're havin' a baby!"

" _Quinn's_ having a baby, _you're_ having a panic attack," Rachel sassed.

"I swear to God, Rachel, don't make me turn this car around." When Quinn let out another cry of pain, so did Kurt.

In the backseat, Carole was instructing Quinn. "Just breathe: deep breaths, in and out, slowly."

In the driver's seat, Kurt was taking her advice "You're right, Carole, I just need to take a few deep breaths."

"She was talking to Quinn," Rachel pointed out.

"Trust me, Rachel," Carole began, "it'll do him some good too." Carole leaned forward to check if Burt was still alive. "Seriously, how can that man sleep through this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut out the part in the movie where they drive by the wannabe gangsters en route to the hospital. I never did like that scene and felt it didn't really serve any purpose except to give Martin Short more unfunny lines—please note that I in no way mean any disrespect to Martin Short because I think he's awesome; but sometimes they really don't give him the proper material to showcase his comedic talents. I just thought I'd say in case someone who saw the movie asked why that scene wasn't included.


	11. Change of Plans

_Somehow_ , Kurt got them to the hospital in one piece. And as a result of Burt's head being banged against the passenger window during a rather sharp turn, Burt did regain some consciousness. Granted he wasn't fully awake and liable to fall asleep at any moment, but he could walk so long as Kurt and Rachel supported him.

"Here you go, Burt," Rachel (and Kurt) helped sit Burt down in a wheelchair while he was struggling not to doze off. "Okay, now what do we do?"

"Carole and I are going to wait with Quinn," Kurt was clearly trying to keep it together. "You can meet us up there after you get my dad a really strong cup of coffee or...whatever he needs to get him back to normal. Oh, we won't be able to turn our phones on, so I need you to call Blaine and Finn and let them know what's going on."

"Fine, can I borrow your phone?"

"Why can't you use yours?"

"I left my phone in my purse and my purse at the house."

"God Rachel," Kurt began to dig through his pockets, "you'd lose your head if it wasn't..." his eyes widened in a panic.

"What?"

"I forgot my phone."

"WHAT?"

"When you're in such a mad dash to get someplace, you're bound to forget a couple things! This isn't the dark ages: ask someone if you can use their phone. Use a payphone if you have to."

"Do those things even exist anymore?"

Rachel and Kurt were too focused on their discussion to notice a nurse was wheeling Burt away—apparently, he was mistaken as a patient about to have a prostate exam. "Rachel," Carole heading toward them was what got their attention while an orderly began wheeling Quinn toward the elevators, "we're taking Quinn up to the maternity floor, room 519. Get Burt back to normal, if possible, and meet us up there." She took Kurt by the arm. "Let's go have a baby," together they hurried toward the elevators.

"Step one: get Burt back to normal." Rachel looked around for Burt. "New step one: find Burt." She tried not to lose it as she ran around looking for Burt. "Oh my God, I lost a grandfather."

"HEY!" she heard a familiar voice close by. It was coming from the prostate screening room. Turning around, she watched Burt bolt out of the room while trying to pull his pants up. "Gettin' a little too close for comfort there, pal."

"Burt, you're alright!" she gave him a tight hug. "I was so afraid I lost you."

"Rachel," he looked around, "what the heck happened after I took those _mild_ sleeping pills?"

...

"The worst is almost over," Carole was helping guide Quinn through a painful contraction while Kurt stood in the background pacing and tearing at his hair. "And...it's over," she gave Quinn a pat on the shoulder. "You did good, Sweetie."

Rachel knocked before poking her head in. "Look who's back from the dead," she stepped aside so Burt could step in.

"Burt!"

"Dad, you're up!" Kurt went to give his father a hug.

"I'm going to see if there's a phone I can use," Rachel gave everyone some privacy.

"Hey," Burt kissed his wife and then put his hand on Quinn's shoulder, "you okay, Quinn?"

Quinn nodded. "I'm okay despite the agonizing pain."

"You gonna get the… _epidural_ is it? Can you get some kinda drugs to ease the pain?"

"They said it was too late for them to administer the epidural. Gotta do this all natural again." She sarcastically twirled her finger, "Yay."

"The attending nurse wouldn't be surprise if she delivers within the next hour or so," Kurt added. "Oh, and there's the fact that Quinn's doctor is at some out of town medical conference so some complete stranger is going to be delivering my child." He was obviously faking his enthusiasm. "So _that's_ happening."

"Quinn's new doctor relocated here from Massachusetts and she only has almost a years' worth of experience as an obstetrician," Carole explained from her seat beside Quinn. "But they assured us she's very good at what she does, and she's a very likable person."

As if it was a cue, the doctor came into the room. "Oh my God," the Hummel men had uttered simultaneously.

Dr. Pierce gave them what looked like a blank stare. "Do I still have to introduce myself if we've already been introduced?"

" _Brittany_?" Kurt gasped out. " _You're_ the doctor?"

"I thought you were some sort of math genius," Quinn reminded.

Brittany casually shrugged. "I may be like super smart at math, but math is boring. I decided to become a baby doctor."

" _Why_?" Kurt had a bit of an edge to his question.

Brittany pondered that. "It made sense to become a baby doctor; I like babies and I like vaginas."

Kurt covered his face in his hands. "Oh Dear God."

"So Quinn, I'm going to check you out now."

"I need some air," Kurt practically stormed out of the room.

"I'll go talk to him and let Brittany do her thing," Burt followed his son out into the hall. "Kurt-"

"I'm not ready, Dad! This can't be happening! I'm about to become a father, my husband's not here, and the dumb girl I once made out with is delivering my child because she likes _babies and vaginas_? I feel like I'm going to pass out any minute!"

"Calm down, son; breathe," he instructed his son to take a few deep breaths.

"Sorry; this is not how I expected this to happen."

"Does a birth ever go the way people plan?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love Brittany; but she's not the kind of person I'd expect to deliver my child. She doesn't even have a full year's worth of experience."

"Give her some credit; she's a lot smarter than you thought she was. And this is something she knows how to do, is comfortable doing, and she's someone that you're already familiar with. If a bunch of certified medical people can trust her to do this, so can you. Okay?"

Kurt nodded. "Okay."

"Good, now let's go back in there."

"Should we wait to make sure we don't see anything down south?"

"Good point," Burt knocked on the door. "You done with your business?"

"You can come in guys," Quinn assured.

The Hummel men entered the room. "How are we doing?"

"Quinn's contractions are becoming less irregular and closer together so we'll have ourselves a future glee club member pretty soon," Brittany proudly caught the guys up before looking toward Carole. "So Mrs. Kurt's Dad's Wife, when's your baby due?"

Carole sort of hesitated before answering, her hand moving up to her abdomen during the pause. "Sometime in September, but I forget the date."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, just a little crampy; a couple of times there's been this sharp little pang," she winced. "Speaking of."

"Do you mind if we go across the hall so I can check you out?"

"It's alright, really, I'm fine."

"I just want to do this as a precaution; I'd feel a lot better if you let me check."

Carole stood up. "I guess it wouldn't hurt. Burt, Kurt, are you guys fine here?" They nodded to her. "I'll see you in a minute," she and Brittany left.

Burt stuffed his hands into his pocket. "So now what?"

"I guess we wait for Carole," Kurt answered back. "I mean, what else are we supposed to do?"

"AH!" Quinn's cry of pain took both the men aback.

Kurt was confused when Quinn began flailing her hand around. "What? What is that? What is she doing?"

"I think she wants you to hold her hand during her contraction," Burt guessed.

"Oh!" Kurt took Quinn's hand as Quinn let out an agonized moan. "It's okay, Quinn, hold onto my hand; remember to breathe through the pain." She did as Kurt reminded. "Everything's fine Quinn, I'm here for you." She nodded through her contraction. "But seriously, can you loosen your grip a little; you're really hurting me."

Brittany knocked on the door, "Hey Mr. Kurt's Dad, can I see you in the hall for a sec?"

"Sure," Burt followed Brittany into the hall. "Oh, and you can call me Burt by the way."

"Okay. Burt: your wife is in labor."

Burt laughed at that. "No wonder they say you have a likable personality, making jokes like that," he got serious. "No, seriously, where is Carole?"

"If Carole is your wife, then she's in the room across from Quinn getting hooked up to a fetal monitor."

"Wait, you _were_ serious? Carole's having the baby?" Brittany nodded. "You sure it's not a false alarm; those have been kinda common for a Hummel kid lately."

"It's for real."

"Damn."

"Can you please not swear around the babies?"

"We aren't near any-"

"This is the baby floor; babies can hear you know."

"Uh-huh; is it okay if I see Carole now?" Brittany nodded. "Thank you," Burt went into Carole's room. "Carole?"

"I don't want to hear anything that even comes close to describing how bad our timing is," Carole warned him.

"Did you know you were in labor?"

"I thought I could convince her I wasn't—I thought the use of the word 'pangs' instead of the word 'contractions' was pretty impressive. Regardless, Brittany said I'm in active labor."

"I thought your actual doctor said you needed a C-section?"

"I do, but first I need to come in here to get prepared for everything, start me on the IV, sign a bunch of paperwork, and..." she stopped as she had a contraction. "Wow, these things are still annoying."

"But you are okay, right?"

She nodded as the pain subsided. "Sure, these ones aren't so bad as before. I definetly don't think they're as bad as Quinn's—poor thing can barely catch her breathe. How is Quinn by the way?"

"Last I checked she's doin' okay."

"Good."

Burt sat on the bed next to his wife. "So, we're having a baby?"

"We're having a baby."

"One of us should probably tell Kurt." Carole quirked her brow to him. "Right, I'll go do that." He kissed her forehead. "Be right back."

"No, Blaine would have the perfect song for the occasion," Burt heard his son say as he entered the room. "Dad, you're back!" He fast-walked to Burt. "Don't leave me here alone with her."

"That bad?"

"You know I've always had this fear of being the only person in the room when a woman gives birth. I can't do this without Blaine or you and Carole here."

"You'll have a doctor."

"I meant I can't do this without someone I love in the same room—the doctor may as well be a complete stranger. Granted, I do love Quinn, but there's no way I'm gonna be the only one in there when she squeezes out that baby…or however it works; I don't really want a front row seat for that."

"What about Rachel?"

"Rachel used the hospital phone to call our room and tell us she's waiting for Mercedes to come take her home to get our stuff. Where's Carole?"

"Funny story-"

"Oh God, she's not in labor too, is she?"

"Kinda, sorta, yeah."

"What? No! No, I have to have someone here with me! Dad, I need you here."

"No!" Quinn spoke up after the contraction ended. "Burt, you need to go be with Carole. Kurt and I can handle this."

"Um maybe the ' _I_ ' part of that statement can, but the ' _Kurt_ ' can't."

"Don't be selfish; Carole needs someone to be with her too."

"Maybe I can check in on both of you guys," Burt suggested. "I'm sure Carole wants me to keep her updated on how you're doing."

"Dad," Kurt looked at his father with pleading eyes, "I'm begging, please be in the room when they move Quinn into delivery."

Looking out the door, Burt saw a nurse enter Carole's room. "Kurt, I can't make any promises. Right now, I need to check on Carole. Quinn's right, she needs me too."

Kurt swallowed and nodded fiercely. "Okay, go be your wife."

"I'll be back," Burt went across the hall to Carole's room completely oblivious to Brittany entering Quinn's room. "Carole?"

"Burt," Carole was taking some deep breaths, "things have really started to happen."

The nurse agreed. "Don't go too far, Dad; we may need you."

"Is something wrong or-"

"DAD!" Burt heard Kurt yelling for him. Without saying anything, Burt hurried across the hall to Quinn's room.

"Quinn's ready to go and we're going to move her to a delivery room," Brittany announced.

"Dad," Kurt took his father's hands and smiled, "this is really it; I'm about to become a father."

The cause for celebration was cut short when the nurse from Carole's room barged in. "Brittany, we need you across the hall."

The faces of the Hummel men blanched. "Dad, what's going on?"

"I don't know," Burt watched Brittany run across the hall, "but I'm sure as hell gonna find out." With that, he bolted from his son and hurried to his wife.


	12. Happy Birthday, Babies

Burt burst into Carole's room. "What happened? What's going on? Carole, are you alright?"

Carole was in some sort of panic. "It's not me, it's the baby. The monitor that's watching its heartbeat started going off."

"Is the baby going to be okay?"

"I don't know."

"Mr. and Mrs. Kurt's Parents, I need you guys to stay calm," Brittany instructed. "What's happening is the baby's heartbeat keeps fluctuating."

Burt and Carole exchanged worried glances, but Burt was the one to ask, "What does that mean exactly?"

"It keeps going up and down. This doesn't mean it's in danger or anything, this kind of thing can happen, especially with labors like this. What this does mean, however, is the safest thing to do is to get the baby out as soon as possible. I'll call ahead for an operating room."

"Wait, _you're_ going to get the baby out?" Brittany nodded. "What about Quinn; who's gonna be her doctor?"

"I think it's best if I stay with Mrs. Finn's Mom. Before I do, I have to find the best doctor available _right now_ if we want to get Quinn into a delivery room," Brittany left the room.

"Go," Carole's one-word statement made Burt turn around to look at her. "Go be with your son. He needs you, Burt."

Burt sat on the bed with Carole. "What about you; don't you need me too?"

"Not as much as he does. Look me in the eye and tell me he that can handle being with Quinn by himself."

Burt sighed and looked her in the eye. "He can't."

"He's in a pretty anxious state as is it. I'm afraid if one more thing goes wrong-"

"-like having to find a random doctor to deliver his child."

"-I'm worried he'll have a panic attack and pass out. And what if they can't find a doctor in time? Then Quinn will be all alone when she shouldn't have to be."

"You'll be alone too."

"A C-section is major surgery and surgeries usually don't have other people in the room watching their loved ones get cut open."

"Sometimes they have windows they can watch out of." A small laughed escaped Carole, but she winced afterwards. "You okay?"

"Yeah: it just kinda hurt to laugh there."

"Sorry," he reached for his wife's hand. "Do you really want me to be with Kurt and Quinn?"

"Do you honestly want to be in an operating room watching me get cut open?"

"Honestly? No. But I don't want to watch one of my son's friends give birth either. I want to be with you."

"I want you with me too. But I can handle this on my own; I'm in good hands."

"You trust _Brittany_?" Carole nodded. "Alright, well, then I guess I trust her too."

Carole rubbed his hand with her thumb. "Everything's going to be fine." Burt said nothing and kept looking at his wife. "What are you thinking about?"

"About the first time we met. Kurt introduced us in that classroom on Parent-Teacher conference night. You came in with a ripped jean jacket over that pink shirt and I said how acid-wash should make a comeback and you responded with-"

"-'who said it ever left'?"

"-'who said it ever left'?" Carole finished the same time he did. "Ugh, you remembered what I was wearing?"

"Weird, huh; I can never remember what you wear any other time."

"I wish I could remember what you had on, but I don't."

"It doesn't matter. You, this attractive, pretty, beautiful woman managed to talk to this… _schlub_ of a guy and…well the rest, as they say, is history."

"Ten years later and here we are now."

"Has it really been that long?"

"We shared the most important moment in lives together with your son. Without him, we wouldn't even be here."

"And here is a pretty awesome place to be right now."

"I think we owe Kurt one. Go on, go be with your son, I'll be fine."

Burt nodded and kissed his wife. "I love you."

"I love you," she let go of his hand and watched him leave.

"DAD!" a panicked looking Kurt was waiting outside Quinn's door. "Quinn is about to lose it! She said she feels like she's gotta push soon and we're not in the delivery room yet! Why aren't we in the delivery room?"

"You can't get in the delivery room without a doctor," this was Burt's way of breaking the news to Kurt.

"Brittany's her doctor."

"Brittany's also Carole's doctor and they need to get the baby out right away."

"Is everything okay? What's wrong?"

"Something about its heartbeat or whatever, I didn't understand Brittany said."

"Oh God, what if they don't find a doctor for Quinn in time!"

"It's okay! It's okay," he put his hands on Kurt's shoulders, "they're going to find a doctor. Everything's going to be fine. And I'm gonna be with you when you welcome my grandchild into the world."

"What about Carole?"

"Carole understands that you need me a little more than she does at the moment. And I'm here for you." Kurt nodded. "Now let's go inside," he led his son back into the room where Quinn was fighting the pain. "Quinn?"

"This hurts so bad," she spoke through gritted teeth. Then she angrily turned her attention to Kurt. "You did this to me!"

Kurt's face went pale in terror. "I'm sorry!"

Another intense pain racked Quinn's body and when she screamed, so did Kurt. Kurt swore she actually growled at him. "You suck! You suck! You suck!"

Miraculously, a doctor walked in. "Hi, are you Quinn?"

"Please tell me you're the doctor!" Kurt begged.

"Yes, I'm Dr. Lowell," he introduced as a nurse entered the room, "I'm here to take Quinn to the delivery room."

"THANK GOD!" oddly enough, both Kurt and Quinn said this at the same time.

"Are you two gentlemen going to be in the room with her?"

"Yes!" Kurt answered before Burt could speak. "I'm the baby's father."

"Hi," Burt shook the doctor's hand, "I'm the grandfather."

"So Mom, Dad, Granddad: are we ready to meet the new little bundle of joy?"

"Yes, please, get it out of her!" Kurt pleaded.

"He's a first time father," Burt simply stated to the doctor.

Dr. Lowell smiled at them before he and the nurse raised the bars on Quinn's bed. "Alright, let's get this show on the road," he and the nurse walked at a fast pace toward the destination with Burt and Kurt following.

That is, until Kurt froze. "Kurt," Burt turned around and headed back for his son, "what's the matter?"

"I don't have a camera!" Kurt lamented. "How am I supposed to capture my child's first moments into the world?"

"Draw a picture. Now come on, let's-" Burt stopped himself as another bed was being wheeled out of Carole's room. "Carole!" He didn't really have anything to say, but he just wanted one last look at his wife. Carole seemed to understand and smiled at them while giving them a 'thumbs up' gesture before the bed turned down a hallway.

"Dad, Quinn!"

"Right!" The Hummel men caught up to her just as they neared the elevators.

And who should coincidentally be coming out of the elevators? "Blaine!"

"Puck!" Quinn managed to cry out her husband's name.

"Quinn!" almost instantly, Puck had ran over to her side.

"You're here," she cupped his face in her hands and pulled him in for a kiss as he ran alongside her.

After letting out a sigh of relief, Blaine also hurried over to the group where he kissed his husband. "Thank God; I was afraid I'd miss it."

"What took you guys so long?" Kurt questioned.

"His plane got in late," Blaine turned to Quinn. "The guys and I wanted to surprise you, but you surprised us. We did surprise Rachel though: for some reason she thought we were at some charity fundraiser for the _Trevor Project_." Blaine looked at his husband. "Was that even one of our pre-planned excuses?"

"Alright, fellas, this is our stop," the doctor slowed in front of their destination. "We have a maximum three guests in the delivery room so only family beyond this point. Who else is going in besides the baby's father?"

Blaine raised his hand. "Me! I'm also the baby's father."

Puck gestured to Quinn. "I'm her husband; I'm goin' in too."

The doctor was slightly confused by this, but he quickly shrugged it off. "Okay then. Sorry Granddad: looks like you'll have to wait outside. Now let's go have a baby." Blaine and the nurse helped push the door open while Puck expressed his uncertainty about "the baby doctor being a dude".

Blaine held the door open for Kurt. "Kurt, are you coming?"

"In a minute," Kurt assured him. Blaine nodded and waited "Dad, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done. Not just today, but…"

"Go on, go in there," Burt nudged his son toward the delivery room. Before going in, Kurt gave his father one last, quick hug and he and his husband went into the delivery room together. _The next time I see my son, he's going to be a father._ Knowing that Kurt was going to be okay, Burt decided to be with his wife.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen. "I'm sorry Mr. Hummel," it wasn't good when a medical staff member began with an apology, "but once the procedure has begun, we can't allow any visitors into the room. I can't make an exception."

Burt sighed in defeat. "If Dr. Pierce comes looking for me, could you tell her I'll be waiting near delivery room four?" The nurse nodded as Burt went back toward his previous location. Unsure of what to do next, Burt shoved his hands in his pockets and paced outside. After a few minutes, he sat in one of the nearby chairs and tried to read one of the outdated magazines sitting on the table beside the chair. This proved a futile gesture because Burt just kept his eyes on the door. Once or twice, he would even look down the hall hoping to see if there'd be news from Carole. So after what seemed like an eternity of sitting, Burt went back to pacing. When he got winded after a short while, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

Soon enough, the faint sound of a newborn crying was enough to get him to open his eyes again. Given how nearby it was, the crying had to have been coming from his grandchild.

Stepping out of the room a minute or so later in teal hospital scrubs and wearing a huge smile on his face, was Kurt. His excited eyes glistened with happy, unshed tears as he made his way over to his father. "Dad, it's a boy. I have son!"

"That's wonderful," Burt hugged his son.

"Oh my God, I've never seen a cuter kid in all my life. I can't really tell who he looks most like, but he has my ears, the poor thing," Burt chuckled at that. "He looks so little, but the doctor said seven pounds was average. And he's got quite a set of lungs on him," both men let out a laugh at that. "My son may also have my flair for dramatics: he gave us a scare when he almost got stuck on the way out."

"But he's okay?"

"Yeah, it just gave poor Quinn some extra hard work to do and that's why it took a little longer for the baby to come out. I swear, I'm gonna make it up to Quinn somehow; I felt so sorry for her. Did you go see Carole?"

"I wasn't allowed in once they started the procedure so..." he trailed off.

"Dad, I'm sure everything's gonna be alright."

Burt nodded and opted to get back on the topic of his grandchild. "Does my grandson have a name?"

"I actually have a new name in mind, but I need to discuss it with Blaine first. I promise you'll be one of the first to know what his name is."

"Good. Now go give my grandson a kiss from his grandpa."

"I will," Kurt gave Burt another quick hug before heading back inside.

Burt stood there with a proud grin on his face. "Grandpa Burt," he let out a watery laugh. "I like the sound of that."

"Hey Grandpa Burt," someone from behind tapped him on the shoulder. That someone was Dr. Brittany S. Pierce, and she was holding on to a whole nother someone, "I think I got something else you'll like just as much," she carefully passed the baby she was carrying to Burt. "I know we usually take the baby to the nursery or for observation, but Carole and I thought we'd introduce you to your daughter first."

"Wow," Burt looked down at his daughter. "And she's okay?"

"Yep."

"How's Carole?"

"She's doing great too."

"Is the baby supposed to be this small."

"Your baby was born at thirty-four weeks, which is technically a month early, so this size is normal for a baby like her. But everything's good, her heartbeat's fine, her lungs are developed, we just thought you'd like to see her first."

"Thank you, Brittany."

"My pleasure."

"Hey can you do me one quick favor before I give the baby back?"

"Sure, what?"

"Could you tell Carole that Kurt has a son."

Brittany made a face. "Ew, Kurt had sex with Quinn?"

"Carole'll explain everything." Brittany shrugged and went back to where she came from. Burt looked back down at his daughter. "Sex isn't something you have to worry about for another...thirty or so years." His daughter yawned. "What, are you bored with your old man already?" The sound of a door opening distracted Burt toward the delivery room door.

"Burt," Blaine was whispering as he and Kurt approached Burt. Incidentally, Kurt was also holding a baby. "Burt, you gotta see him.

Burt took a look at his grandson. "Holy cow." He tilted his head a little. "Oh my God, Kurt, he does have your ears."

Kurt nodded his head toward the newborn in his father's arms. "Is that-"

"You have a sister."

"Oh my goodness, she's so tiny."

"What's her name?" Blaine inquired.

"I haven't gotten the chance to talk to Carole yet," Burt explained.

"That makes for a boring introduction, Dad," Kurt commented.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Dad," Kurt began, "we want to formerly introduce you to Trevor Burt Anderson-Hummel."

"Trevor?"

"Courtesy of the _Trevor Project_ that got a couple of casual mentions today."

"It's one of the more popular LGBT organizations we have the utmost respect for," Blaine explained.

"When we first saw our son we promised that we were going to love him no matter who or what he decides to be and he was going to grow up loved regardless of who his parents are."

"So Trevor just felt right for our son."

"And his middle name is in honor of his grandfather; one of the greatest men Blaine and I have ever known. We love you, Dad."

"My grandson's name is Trevor," Burt couldn't help but get a little misty-eyed. "I like the name 'Trevor', but does the poor kid really have to go around with the middle name _Burt_?"

"Guys?" Finn was making his way over with Rachel and Mercedes following them.

"Aww," of course the girls instantly swooned.

Blaine was curious as to why everyone was here. "How did you know we-"

"Brittany texted us," Finn explained. "She said I had a little sister."

"You also have a nephew. Guys, this is Trevor Burt Anderson-Hummel."

"Aww," more swooning from the ladies.

"Oh they're so little," Rachel talked in a baby voice.

"And cute," Mercedes added as she spoke in a baby voice.

"I can't wait to have one of my own."

Finn pulled his wife in for an embrace and kissed the top of her head. "Me either."

"Really?"

"Really." His eyes went wide. "You're not pregnant already, are you?"

"Not yet," she stood on her tiptoes to whisper, "but if we're lucky I could get pregnant tonight."

That seemed to have an effect. "Well it's been fun, the babies are both really cute, but we gotta go. Congratulations guys!" Finn started leading Rachel away.

"Congratulations, we love you! Happy Birthday, Babies!" Rachel called before she and Finn disappeared.

"Somethin' tells me we're gonna be back here in another nine months," Mercedes quipped. "No, but seriously, I'm very happy for all of you guys."

"I don't think I've ever been so happy in my entire life," Kurt murmured as he looked down at his son.

Burt had a wistful smile on his face as he took in the scene in front of him. "If you're as lucky as I am, Kurt," Burt looked at his daughter, "you get to experience this feeling more than once."

"I don't know if I told you, but I am really glad I get to share this moment with you, Dad. I seriously can't thank you enough for all that you've done." Trevor started to get fussy. "Oh, no, it's okay."

"He's probably hungry," Blaine suggested. "Maybe we should give him some alone time with Quinn so we can make a couple more calls...like to my _mother._ "

"Oof, good point. Come on Trevor, let's go see your Mama so Daddy can call his."

"I'm 'Daddy', Kurt's 'Papa'," Blaine explained to Burt.

"And you're Grandpa."

"I'm Grandpa," Burt repeated before adding, "Let's hope your sister doesn't call me that." Blaine and Kurt turned back to go inside. "Oh, and guys," the couple turned around, "Happy Anniversary."


	13. Epilogue

_October 13_ _th_ _, 2019_

 _Goodbyes are never easy, but they're never forever_. This was an appropriate sentiment on Carole's "thought for the day" calendar seeing as it was the day everyone would be saying goodbye to The Anderson-Hummels. And the words would hold true: everyone would always keep in touch, they'd still see each other from time to time, and the two months and four days Kurt and Blaine had left in Ohio following the births of Trevor Burt Anderson-Hummel and Brittany Elizabeth Hummel didn't go to waste. Burt got to spend time with his grandson, Kurt got to know his sister, and the Hummel House was full of people and joy.

"Since it's gonna be sad for everyone when we go," Kurt had begun, "we're going to make the most of our remaining time together by keeping things happy."

And they did just that. The only brief exception to Kurt's request was in September when they said goodbye to Quinn and Puck. After everything she went through for Kurt and Blaine (and Trevor), they didn't think it was fair to just have her fly back to Connecticut without getting spend a little time with her son—Puck had also just flown in to Ohio after a stint in the Air Force and he wasn't itching to get on a plane anytime soon. So Quinn and Puck stayed in the Hummel home spending time with everyone and deciding what they were going to do about their own future. She had been debating about whether or not to move to New York to be closer to her kids now that she was done with school, but first she needed to discuss this with her husband. Being the decent guy that he was, he told her, "Whatever my baby mama wants, my baby mama gets." To which she would chastise him for calling her that and then they would be affectionate with one another shortly afterwards. When Quinn told Beth about her plan to move to New York, Shelby suggested that Quinn and Puck stay with her in her penthouse until they found their own place. Of course they couldn't say no to that so by the last week of September, there was already one empty room in Hummel Home.

While it was hard to say goodbye to a set of close friends, it was going to be even harder—heartbreaking, even—to say goodbye to The Anderson-Hummels. But everyone knew this was something that had to be done.

…

Kurt, Blaine, and Trevor's last morning in Ohio consisted of a big family breakfast sometime between nine and nine-thirty where Finn and Rachel were also in attendance. It was a tensed, silent breakfast, only broken by Blaine's cell phone alarm going off at 9:45 exactly.

"Wake up call?" Burt inquired.

"It's actually a pre-alarm," Blaine explained. "We didn't want to leave ungodly early and we wanted to spend one more morning as a family, but we also wanted to be on the road no later than ten. So I set an alarm to make sure we…you know," he didn't want to finish.

"We've got a long drive ahead of us," Kurt's tone was rather somber.

"And you got everything in the car all ready to go?" Carole clearly wanted to cry, but she didn't. Kurt replied with a nod. "That's good."

"Um, I don't want to sound mean," Finn began, "but breakfast is over and you guys said you'd leave after we were done eating."

" _You're_ not done eating," Blaine pointed out.

This somehow elicited a chuckle from Finn, "I'm never really done eating."

"My husband's right," Rachel agreed. "Not just about his eating habits, but about how we can't keep prolonging what will be an obviously depressing farewell."

"It wasn't so depressing at the going away party at Mercedes' last night," he thought about his choice of words. "Okay, it kinda was when the party was over."

"And it looks like the party's over now," Kurt noted. The next round of silence was cut short by one of the babies crying. "That's Trev," Kurt could instantly recognize his son's crying.

"I'll go get him," Blaine left the table and headed upstairs.

Carole also stood up. "I'll get Brittany and put her in her stroller. If the whole family's going to say goodbye, she deserves to be there too."

Finn scoffed at this. "Mom, she's two months old; she's not gonna remember-" he shut up when he notice the look his mother was giving him. Clearing his throat, he rose from the table. "I'll be outside."

"Good boy."

Blaine carefully made his way down the stairs holding onto his son. "He's okay, he just wanted his Daddy to hold him."

"That's because he's _my_ son and we both love to be held by Daddy Blaine," Kurt thought he could lighten the mood with his romantic little observation, but Burt rolled his eyes in disgust at that. "Give him," Kurt held out his arms for Blaine to deposit their son into. "God, I'm going to be so nervous not being able to sit next to him in the backseat."

"But you are gonna be okay to drive?" Burt questioned "Especially at night when-"

"I'll be okay, Dad. Come on gang: let's get these goodbyes over and done with."

Once everyone was assembled outside, that's when they commenced with the hugging. Interestingly enough, the only one would couldn't keep it together was Rachel. "I am going to miss you guys, so much."

"You can always come to New York," Kurt had told her as they hugged.

"And you can always come back home." Rachel wiped her tears away, then kissed the top of her nephew's head. "Bye-bye, Baby Trevor," she tousled his reddish-blonde hair. "Remember that Auntie Rachel is always a Skype session away."

Finn approached them and took Trevor's tiny hand in his large hand and shook it. "See you 'round, Trev. I want you to know that your Uncle Finn's always here for you if you need him. Oh, and try not to give your Dads any grief." Then he hugged his stepbrother. "Bye Kurt."

"Goodbye Finn." As Rachel and Finn went to hug Blaine, Kurt gave his stepmother a hug. "Bye Carole."

She smoothed his back. "Bye Kurt. Oh, can I hold Trevor for a moment before you-"

"Sure," Kurt began passing Trevor to Carole. "Go see Grandma."

Carole cooed at the baby. "Yes, Trevor loves his grandma."

And then there was Burt. Though to be fair, there was one other person before Burt who was lying wide awake in her stroller. Kurt bent over to give his sister a kiss goodbye. "Bye Brittany. Call me okay: I may be your nephew's Papa, but I'm still your big brother." It seemed like Brittany smiled at him. "Oh and Dad," Kurt turned to Burt, "I got her a going away present." He presented his father with a small pink box with a white bow.

"These aren't some baby earrings or anything dangerous she can put in her mouth?" Burt questioned before opening it.

"No, Dad." Burt opened the box to reveal a miniature basketball. "You're gonna need someone to play a little one on one with you; might as well start her early." The Hummel men both let out a laugh at this before they hugged. However, this hug was disrupted by Trevor's cry. Before Kurt could react, Carole was already passing her grandson to Blaine.

"Hey, wait a minute," Burt made his way over to Carole and Blaine, "I didn't get a chance to tell my grandson goodbye," Blaine gave the baby to Burt. "Well Trevor, my boy, you are going to be one of the most fabulous kids in all of New York. A word of the wise: don't go telling everyone your middle name is Burt. Don't get me wrong: I love that you share a name with Grandpa, but you can't really be chic if they know your middle name is so Midwestern."

"Then we'll let him be 'Fabulously Midwestern Chic'. I'll take him now, Dad."

"Alright," Burt gave his grandson a kiss before passing him to Kurt. "Hey," Burt inched toward his son-in-law, "bring it on in, Blaine."

Blaine hugged his father-in-law. "I'm gonna miss you, Burt."

"I'll miss you too, Blaine."

"Trevor's in," Kurt announced to his husband. "We better get going," he looked at the family he was leaving behind. "Please don't think this means I want to leave! It's just-"

"-you have to go."

"I have to go."

Burt nodded. "Just be sure to buckle up and be safe."

"We will Dad." father and son shared one last hug before Kurt got into the car. "Love you guys!" Kurt called out the window as the car began driving away. Everyone stood in the front yard waving goodbye as Blaine's car drove out of sight.

Rachel freed herself from her husband's embrace. "I think I'll help clean up breakfast."

"I think I'll help _finish_ breakfast," Finn followed his wife into the house.

Carole rubbed her husband's shoulder. "You alright, Hon?"

Burt sighed. "Yeah, I'm alright; something like this was bound to happen eventually."

"'Goodbyes are never easy, but they're never forever'," Carole quoted.

"You read that somewhere?"

"My thought for the day calendar; it's the one for today." Burt snorted at that. "I swear!"

"You think that's like a sign or something?"

"If it is, I'm sure it's a good one," she gave her husband a kiss on the cheek before heading back in the house.

Stealing a moment for himself, Burt stared down the road in the direction his son drove off in. A part of him was hoping they'd turn around and come back and decided to come back to the house for lunch before going back to their 'fabulously chic for a Midwestern' apartment. But they didn't.

Burt looked down at Baby Brittany. "Am I crazy to think your brother would come back?" Brittany gave some sort of whine in response. "Sorry you're not really gonna get the chance to grow up with him; he really would have been a big help in choosing your wardrobe. Unless you're gonna be into cars and sports like your old man—which I'm all for, by the way. But no matter what: I want you to know that I'm always gonna love you." Brittany gurgled at her father. "Yeah, I'm glad I got you for a daughter, Britt." He traced his finger down her cheek. "And I'm so glad I get to do this father thing all over again."


End file.
